Never Enough
by jva88
Summary: She sat in her car as the tears streamed down her face She didnt know why she put up w/ so much crap Maybe it was b/c she was just so use to it or maybe it was b/c she was just so inlove w/ her and always would be BRslash.LucasRachel.ChrisBrooke friendshi
1. Tell Me Why

**Never Enough**

**Chapter 1**

**Tell Me Why**

She sat in her car as the tears streamed down her face. She didn't know why she put up with so much crap. Maybe it was because she was just so use to it or maybe it was because she was just so in love with her and always would be. They've been together for so long that she couldn't imagine life with out her; she wasn't only her girlfriend but she was her best friend too. More tears began to roll down her cheeks and she buried her face in her hands and then heard a knock on her window which scared her. She jerked her head up and saw the blonde boy looking at her with his blue eyes which were filled with concern. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and rolled down the window.

"Lucas, you scared me" she said softly not looking directly in his eyes.

"I saw you sitting here crying. Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly.

He was on the varsity basketball team at Tree Hill High School and she was on the cheerleading squad. Lucas and her met freshman year of high school and they became best friends. He could tell her pretty much anything and Rachel could tell him everything too, well almost everything. She's wanted to tell him everything that has been going on so many times but the words never seemed to come out. She already knew what he would say if she told him; everyone would tell her the same thing.

"I'm fine Luke. Just a fight with Brooke." she told him.

"Another one? You two seem to be fighting a lot lately. What was it about this time? You always look so down." he told her and Rachel thought of the incident that happened earlier.

_Students filled the halls of Tree Hill High School before the last class of the day. Rachel was at her locker putting away some books and getting the one she needed for her next class. Brooke was further down the hall as she watched her girlfriend at her locker and a smile appeared on her face. She looked so beautiful Brooke thought to herself. She was starting to make her way over to Rachel but stopped when she saw Peyton approach Rachel. _

_Peyton was not a close friend of Brooke's and she never thought she was one of Rachel's either. The only time either of them spoke to was during cheerleading practice and at the games. Brooke saw as Peyton handed Rachel a CD. "Did she make her a mix?" Brooke whispered to herself. She saw Rachel smile as she took the CD from Peyton. They continue to talk and she wished she were closer to hear what they were saying. The bell rang and it looked like Rachel thanked Peyton for the CD. She watched as Peyton turned into another hallway with a huge grin on her face. The halls slowly emptied. And Brooke was furious as she marched over to Rachel who was still at her locker. _

_Brooke closed Rachel's locker and grabbed her arm forcefully. Rachel looked at her in fear yet again. She hated when Brooke was rough yet she never really did anything about it. _

"_What the hell Brooke?!" Rachel said "Let go of me." she demanded. _

_Brooke let go but slightly shoved her against the lockers. "I saw you and Blondie. She gave you a mix and the two of you seemed pretty happy. So you tell me what the hell is up. Are you sneaking around behind my back and don't you dare lie to me." she said as she pointed a finger at her. _

_Rachel grew nervous. She was not into Peyton that way at all; they were just friends that's all. Now having Brooke believe her was going to be difficult. "Brooke it was nothing. I let her borrow a CD and she was just returning it. Stop thinking that I could do such a thing to you. I love you and only you." Rachel assured her. _

"_I don't believe you." Brooke stated, "What were you two talking about?" she questioned her. _

"_Nothing, Jesus Brooke why do you have to be such a jealous possessive bitch sometimes. It's getting fucking old already. Same thing over and over again." Rachel said annoyed. "I don't have time for this. I'm already late for class." she said and was about to walk away but didn't because she felt Brooke's hand connect with her face. Rachel put a hand to her cheek. Tears stung her eyes as she looked at Brooke. "Why?" is all she could to say. _

_Brooke was pissed, "Don't ever call me that again. And don't talk to that bitch Peyton either. You know she wants to be more than friends with you. Don't be so fucking naïve." and with that she walked off with her head high._

"It was stupid and it was my fault. I'll be fine." Rachel told him

"You can tell me, Rachel. You know that right. I'm here for you _always." _

"I know you are, Luke." she smiled slightly, "and I'm so thankful for that but really it wasn't that bad. It just sucks to fight you know."

Lucas sighed, "Okay, I'll take that answer this time but if you want to talk about it you can always call me. I have to head home so I'll see you later okay." Rachel nodded and he smiled. "love you, buddy." he said to her and kissed her forehead and then walked away from her and towards his.

She didn't know why it was so hard to tell Lucas. She hated lying to him.

When school ended Brooke Davis walked to her car as fast as she could. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible after what happened to Rachel. She was so angry and needed to talk to her best friend since childhood. When she got to the record store she marched in and walked over to the counter. She groaned as she set her purse down next to the cash register.

"What happened this time?" Chris Keller asked her already knowing it had to be about Rachel.

Brooke and Chris have known each other since they were little. When Brooke was five the Keller family moved right next to them. Her and Chris became very close, even though he is 3 years older, and have been best friends ever since.

"Why the fuck does she have to be the way she is. Ugh! I saw her with this girl, Peyton, she's on the cheerleading squad with us."

"Were they kissing or something?" he asked

"No…."

"Holding hands?"

"No….."

"So what were they doing then?"

"Well I saw them talking and-"

"Wait…that's it they were talking? Brooke come on they were just talking. I don't think that's something to be pissed about" he told her and chuckled.

"No, Chris! I could tell. Peyton gave her a CD and they were like smiling and just seemed like more than friendly." She was getting angrier.

"Chill Davis. No need to get worked up."

"It just makes me so mad, Keller." She groaned again and ran her hand through here hair.

"Rachel, loves you Brooke and you know it. You always seem to want to pick a fight and you very well know Rachel doesn't deserve that."

Brooke looked down at the floor and knew he was right. She overreacted and knew she had to apologize to Rachel for being such a bitch again. "Damn you, Chris. You're right. Now I have to go apologize"

"Chris Keller is never wrong" he said with a smirk.

"Fuck you" she laughed and grabbed her purse.

"So I'll see you later tonight? Go out drinking or just hang out at my place."

"I'll let you know. I might be with Rachel all night if you know what I mean." she told him with a huge smile. He just laughed and she left the store.

Brooke took a deep breath before getting out of her car. She rang the doorbell and waited for Rachel to answer. The door open and their stood Rachel she looked beyond pissed and Brooke gave her a weak smile. Rachel's expression didn't change. "Rachel, I'm sorry." Brooke told her and all Rachel did was slam the door in her face.


	2. Chances

**Just want to say thanks to those who reviewed, spashley20 and Farah A. **

**Chapter 2**

**Chances**

"I guess I deserve that." Brooke said and then began knocking on the door, "Rachel, please talk to me!" she yelled.

Rachel just stood against the door with her eyes closed. Rachel wanted so badly to open the door and tell Brooke she forgave her and that everything was fine and then just hug her and kiss her but she knew she really needed to be stronger. She had let Brooke off so easily so many times before and she needed to put her foot down this time. She wasn't going to let Brooke get her way so fast this time. Rachel knew Brooke loved her; she was certain of it but Brooke usually had an odd way of showing it. She thought back 2 years to the first time Brooke hit her.

_Rachel sat at one of the picnic tables at the river court watching her best friend, Lucas, shoot some hoops. Ever since she started dating Brooke 6 months earlier she rarely saw him anymore. She needed to make time to spend time with him so instead of being with Brooke that night, Rachel canceled and told her that she a lot of studying to do and would see her the next day. She wasn't exactly sure why she lied about hanging out with Lucas instead of her but it was too late to do anything else about. _

"_How are things with Brooke?" Lucas asked_

_Rachel smiled, "Great! I really love her Luke. When I'm around her everything is perfect."_

"_I would think so. I never see you anymore which sucks," he chuckled, "but if she makes you happy then I'm happy for you." he looked over at her and smiled. _

_She got up from the picnic table and held out her two hands motioning to Lucas to pass the ball to her. "She does make me happy. It means a lot to me that you care." she said and then shot the ball at the basket and missed._

"_You should just stick to cheerleading." he laughed and she walked towards him._

"_Shut up, Luke!" she said and playfully hit his arm. _

"_Ow!" Luke cried out acting as if it hurt._

"_Oh, shut up. Don't be such a baby, I barely hit you." she giggled and stuck her tongue out at him. He smiled. _

"_Seriously, though, I'm always going to be here for you, Rachel. You've become one of my best friends and I'm so grateful for that. I know you'll always be there for me too when ever I need you." _

"_Aw Luke. You're too sweet." She walked over to him and they shared a hug._

"_I thought you had to study?" Brooke questioned aloud coming into view. Rachel and Lucas both looked in the direction Brooke was at and Rachel pulled away from Lucas._

"_Brooke...What are you doing here?" Rachel asked nervously._

"_What are you doing here is the questioned. You said you were going to study tonight. Why did you lie to me?" Brooke's voice said in a louder voice._

_Rachel turned to Lucas, "Could you give us a minute?" she asked him politely._

"_It's getting kind of late actually. I'm going to head home." He walked over to Rachel and gave her a quick hug and whispered, "Good Luck" He grabbed his ball and walked passed Brooke. "See you around, Brooke." he told her and then got in his truck and drove off._

_Brooke waited for Lucas' to be completely gone before speaking. She took a few steps closer to Rachel and then spoke. "Now answer my question. Why did you lie to me? Are you tired of me? Do you need space? Because if that's the case then just tell me now!" _

_Rachel took a few stoops towards Brooke. "Of course not, Brooke. I love you." She said and brought her hand up to Brooke's cheek but Brooke pulled it away somewhat violently and Rachel furrowed her eyebrows._

"_Then why did you lie?" she asked looking deeply into Rachel's eyes._

"_Honestly, I don't know..."Rachel looked down at the ground_

"_You don't know?! You prefer Lucas over me?" she asked loudly "Look at me!" Brooke said and then put a finger under Rachel's chin and forced her to look at her. Brooke knew she was being a little too rough but she needed to know the truth. _

"_Can you not treat me that way, Brooke. I'm sorry I lied but you don't need to be getting all psycho crazy bitch on me..." The moment those last words left Rachel's mouth she regretted it. This was their first real fight and she didn't really want to go down to that level of name calling. _

_Brooke stood there frozen. She couldn't believe what Rachel just said. She clenched down on her teeth and anger rose inside her._

"_Brooke...I-" Rachel was beginning to apologize but then felt the back of Brooke's hand hit her hard in the face. Rachel placed a hand on the right side of her face and tears stung her eyes. She couldn't believe what Brooke just did. She took a few steps backs and a tear rolled down her cheek but she wiped it away fast. She turned around walked over to the picnic table grabbed her purse walked right passed Brooke who didn't move an inch. She just stood their still not believing what she had just done._

_Brooke spoke with out turning around "Rachel I-"_

_Rachel stopped walking and stood still not turning around. She then spoke, "I missed hanging out with my best friend. I don't know why I felt guilty about that but I did. That's why I lied. I'm sorry I did it. I should've known you would be understanding and I regretted it after I told you but it I said it and that's it. That's why I lied okay. Not because I don't love you, not because I don't care, not because I need space, I just didn't want to upset you that I wanted to hang out with my best friend for a little while." Rachel took a deep breath and then walked to her car and drove off._

_Brooke stood there in the same spot feeling like such an idiot. She really couldn't believe what she had just done. _

_The following day, Rachel sat on the front porch reading a magazine when soon after she saw Brooke walking up to her with one hand behind her back. Rachel stood up and began walking towards her front door but then Brooke spoke. _

"_Rachel, please talk to me." Brooke said Rachel turned around and saw that Brooke was holding one long stem red rose. "This is for you" she said and holding it out waiting for Rachel to take it but never did. "Look Rach, hun, I'm so sorry. I really am you so did not deserve that last night. I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I just all of sudden felt really angry about what you said and it was just my first reaction." Brooke took a few steps closer to Rachel. "It won't happen again. I promise." Rachel saw as Brooke looked at her with pleading eyes. _

_Rachel sighed, "What you did...It's not something I can just forget in an instant..."_

"_Rachel. I need you to forgive me. I hate myself so much right now. I can't believe what I did. I really can't. You mean everything to me and I can't ever imagine ever hurting you like that again. I just want things to go back to how they were." Brooke felt like she was about to cry. She moved closer to Rachel and placed a hand on her arm but Rachel flinched. "I swear it won't happen again."_

_Rachel's heart was beating fast. She wanted to stay mad at her for what she did. She never imagined Brooke would hit her. But Brooke seemed so sorry and sincere she decided to forgive. "Okay, Brooke I forgive you but it better not happen again because if it does we're over for good and I don't care how much I love and care about you it will be over."_

"_It won't happen again." Brooke said and moved closer to Rachel. She pulled her close. "I love you, Rach." she told her and they shared a soft kiss and they pulled away._

"_I love you too, Brooke"_

"Rachel, please open up" Brooke said as she stood outside Rachel's house.

"We can't be doing this, Brooke. We've been in this situation too many times and I really am getting tired it." Rachel said loud enough so Brooke could here.

"It won't happen again. Please open up." Brooke said and Rachel finally opened the door. "Rachel, I love you. You know that. It really won't happen again."

"Brooke! Just stop it. Stop lying right to my face. You've said 'it won't happen again' a million times already and guess what, it's happened again and again and again. I love you _so_ much but I can't keep just forgiving you." Rachel's voice cracked

Brooke felt a lump in her throat, "Rachel...please give me one more chance." Tears filled Brooke's eyes "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life. You mean so much to me..." She felt the tears begin to roll slowly down her cheeks and she reached out to grab Rachel's hand but she did allow it. "Rachel...you can't just end this now. We've been through too much to just end it without even trying."

"Brooke are you serious? For most of this relationship I've felt like I was in hell. You've caused me so much pain so many tears and I don't know what to do anymore. I just wish you were true to your word. How do you expect me to believe you when you tell me it won't happen again."

Brooke ran a hand through her hair and looked down at the ground. "Rachel, I promise this time it will be different. I mean it this time. It won't happen again. I don't know what I can do to make you believe me; all I can say is to trust me. Trust in what we have...not the bad but the good. Think of all the good memories we have. Those have to weigh out the bad. Rachel, just give me one more chance, just one more that's all I ask for."

Rachel was a bit hesitant at first. She didn't know what to say. She was so sick of the same thing over and over again but Brooke's apology really did feel sincere this time. "Okay, just one more chance that's it, Brooke. I can't keep letting this happen. If you ever hit me again I swear this relationship will be over forever. I'll be out of your life forever."

"I won't screw it up this time." Brooke promised and then smiled. "Can I kiss you now?" Rachel slowly smiled and then nodded. They both leaned in and kissed. Brooke placed her hands on Rachel's waist and pulled her closer. The kiss became more passionate and Rachel then started to trail her kissed down to Brooke's neck. "Are your parent's home?" Brooke asked as she breathed heavily.

Rachel pulled away and smiled "You know they never are."

"Right. Your room. Now." Brooke said eagerly. Rachel took Brooke's hand into hers and then led her up to her room. When they entered her room they began kissing immediately and made their way over to Rachel's bed. They spent the rest of the day fooling around, eating ice cream, watching TV, and reading the latest Cosmopolitan magazine. It was exactly how Rachel always wanted them to be and she hoped that it would stay that way.


	3. I Really Want You

**Chapter 3**

**I Really Want You**

Brooke walked into the large two story house right next to hers where Chris lived by himself. His parents moved a year ago but Chris decided to stay. He loved Tree Hill it was his home. His parents said it was fine if he stayed and they even agreed to pay the bills of the house. Chris only had to work to pay for personal things like his cell phone and car. Brooke made her way to his room which was located on the first floor and she fell back on the bed and laid next to Chris who was listening to music.

"I take it things went well last night for you Ms. Davis." he spoke.

"That they did, though it was harder than other times to get her to forgive me. You should've seen her she was beyond pissed this time."

"Well I can imagine...you can be a major bitch sometimes" he laughed.

"Shut up, Chris." she told him hitting him on the side of the head softy. "She said this is my last chance and I know she's said that tons of times before but I really think she meant it this time."

"Well, you really have put her through a lot of shit there's so much a person can take. You better behave or you're going to lose someone really special." he told her.

"I can't help it if I get jealous though. It kills me when I see her with other girls."

"You need to not be so insecure and you need to start trusting her. That girl has never cheated on you nor do I think she ever will. You can't always be getting mad when she's just talking to like Peyton or anyone else. She can have friends. Don't try control to her life, Davis."

"I'm not insecure, Chris, and I'm not trying to control her life. What the fuck do you know about being in a long term relationship anyway it's not like you ever been in one."

"Don't get defensive, all I'm saying is that girl loves you to death and you don't need to worry about a thing."

There was a long moment of silence. Brooke knew that Rachel loved her. She didn't doubt that one bit but she still couldn't help getting jealous. Rachel belonged to her and no one else. And she didn't think she was controlling Rachel's life at all. Brooke sighed and starred up at the ceiling. She had a lot on her mind now. She was thinking about what Chris had just said and about Rachel. Chris laid next to her and looked over at her.

"Whats on your mind, kid?" he asked.

"You mean who?"

"Right. Let me rephrase the question then. Who is on your mind?" he asked as he turned on his side.

"Rachel." she said looking at him. "Who else?" she now turned onto her side as well and looked at him.

"Everything well work out fine. Just don't screw it up anymore okay." he told her as he brushed away a lock of hair that fell on her face.

"I don't plan too." she said with a half smile. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Chris. I don't know what I'd do without such an amazing friend like you."

Rachel drove her Tahoe to the river court where she was meeting Lucas. He had called her earlier that day to see if she wanted to hang out and she agreed. She had told Brooke and Brooke was completely fine with it. She told her she was going to hang out with Chris and that she'd catch up with her later. Rachel had forgiven Brooke for the millionth time and this time she really did feel like everything would be different in the relationship, they would be better.

Rachel walked towards the court where she saw Lucas shooting some hoops. "Hey Lukey." she smiled and he looked over at her.

"Rachel, don't call me that I'm not four." he laughed.

"So what. I like calling you that so I'm going to keep calling you that and I don't care what you say." she joked as she approached him.

"You seem better now. Did you work things out with Brooke?" he asked putting an arm around her shoulder and they walked over to a picnic table to sit down and talk.

"Yes I did actually. Things couldn't be better. This is the first time in awhile that I feel things are going to okay."

"Good to hear, Rach." he waited a few seconds. "So... are you going to tell me what your fight was about?"

"Lucas...it really doesn't matter. We worked things out and it's forgotten."

"Fine, I was just curious...like George." he stated as he looked at the river.

Rachel turned to him confused. "Who the fuck is George?"

He laughed, "You know Curious George from that one book."

"Wow..." is all she could say letting out a small laugh.

After dropping off Lucas at his house, Rachel decided to head over to Brooke's. On her way there she noticed a familiar blonde walking down the street. Rachel put the window down and pulled up next to her.

"Hi" Peyton said with a smile on her face and went towards the car.

"Hey Sawyer. What are you doing walking out here at night?" Rachel asked

Peyton rested her arms against the window opening, "I have a lot on my mind right now and need to clear my head and a walk sometimes help other than drawing."

Rachel nodded, "I was just listening to that mix you gave me. I love it."

"Glad to hear that. I never thought you would be into the same music as me. I was so surprised when you told me the other day." she chuckled and Rachel smiled. "So where you headed to?"

"I was going to see Brooke right now" she said and Peyton gave her a tight smile. "But you want to hang out instead...you said you have a lot on your mind. If you want you can talk to me about it." Rachel looked at her waiting for her answer "If you want..."

"Are you sure Brooke won't mind? I don't want to cause any trouble." Peyton said sincerely.

"She didn't even know I was going to see her so it's not like she's expecting me."

Peyton thought for a moment. "Well then sure I'd love to hang out." she said with a smile and then got into Rachel's car.

"You're house is amazing, Rachel" Peyton said as she entered Rachel's room.

"Thanks." she replied and went put the mix Peyton gave her into her stereo and pushed play. Peyton went and sat on Rachel's. Rachel took off the sweater she had on and placed it on her computer chair and then went to sit on her bed.

"Ouch." Peyton said pointing at a bruise on Rachel's arm. "What happened?"

Rachel quickly placed her hand over the bruise for a moment and grew a bit nervous making Peyton some what confused. "Oh it's nothing I just bumped into a door. Stupid me." Rachel said and laughed it off. Peyton nodded.

"So...how are things going with you and Brooke? You two seem like the perfect couple"

If only she knew Rachel thought to herself. "Things are great between us. I really couldn't imagine myself with anyone else but her."

Peyton looked away for a second and then looked back at her. "How long have you been together?"

"About two in half years now..." Rachel told her and Peyton simply nodded.

"Can I ask how you two got together?"

"Quite the interrogator there, Sawyer." Rachel said and both girls laughed.

_**Two in half years ago**_

_Rachel had just had a fight with her parents and needed to distress herself. The only thing that could do that was shopping. She stood inside the store, Forever 21, holding two of the same top but in different colors; one was red and the other green. She couldn't decide which one would look better on her. That's when she heard a voice behind her. _

"_Go with the green" she heard a girl behind her say. Rachel turned around to come face to face with her. "Yeah definitely the green it'll bring out your eyes." she smiled. Rachel nodded and placed the red top back on the rack. "Brooke Davis." she held out her hand and Rachel shook it._

"_Yeah, I know." she replied with a smile "Rachel Gatina."_

"_You know?" Brooke questioned her._

"_You go to Tree Hill High School right. Head cheerleader of the varsity squad. I might've seen you around."_

_Brooke grinned. "Hmm... I don't think I've seen you around but that's got to change now doesn't it" _

"_I suppose it does." _

"_How about you let me buy your top" Brooke pointed at the top Rachel held in her hand "and then I can go invite you to an ice cream or something." Brooke said with a sexy smile on her face._

"_or something sounds great" she said handing Brooke the top._

"_Perfect." Brooke said and she walked over to the counter to pay for the top. Rachel walked slowly behind her smiling and shaking her head not really believing what had just happened. Brooke turned her head to look at her and winked causing Rachel to smile even bigger. _

"And that's how our relationship began." Rachel stated.

"Brooke is quite the flirt." Peyton laughed

"Yes she is." Rachel laughed

"You two are lucky to have each other. You know, I've seen the way Brooke looks at you and I would kill to have someone look at me that way." Peyton started "I've only been in one relationship but that was a disaster and it's taken a long time to finally get over it."

"I'm sorry Peyton. I really am." Rachel said placing a hand on top of Peyton's. Peyton looked down at their hands and then looked up at Rachel in the eyes. Peyton's heart started to beat faster. Peyton then started to make her hand up Rachel's arm and Rachel didn't do anything at first. She was transfixed on Peyton for a few moments but then quickly broke away contact from Peyton and rose from her bed. "You know maybe I should take you home now. It is getting a little late." Rachel looked at her clock and it read 10:30p.m.

Peyton smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah it is."

Peyton walked out of the house and Rachel followed behind. They got into Rachel's car and drove off. Neither girl noticing that Brooke was not far from the house and witnessed the two girls. Brooke felt so stupid for actually believing that Rachel wouldn't sneak around behind her back. Brooke remembered the day before how Rachel told her that she loved her and only her and how she needed to trust her. 'Bullshit' Brooke though to herself. She couldn't believe that she actually just saw Peyton coming out of Rachel's house. Brooke was angry and decided to wait for Rachel outside her house.

The car ride to Peyton's was silent. Neither girl really knew what to say. Rachel was not exactly sure what had just happened in her room but she knew it wasn't right. She really liked spending time with Peyton but as friends only nothing more. She would hate for things to change if Peyton wanted more with her. She pulled up in front of Peyton's house.

"Peyton, what happened in-" Rachel began but Peyton cut her off.

Peyton chuckled "It was nothing, Rachel, really it wasn't. You're just becoming a really good friend of mine and I want to say thanks."

"I feel the same way. I like spending time with you as a friend. The only friend I really have is Lucas and he's great and all but it would be nice to have a girl to talk to sometime" Rachel smiled

"What about Brooke?"

"Brooke is great. I love her and all but she's my girlfriend and we have a lot of differences and with you we have a lot in common for example music and so I can finally talk about the music I like with some one else. Brooke and I have completely different tastes in music. That girl loves Beyonce and Kelly Clarkson"

"Wow. Does she ever play that when you're around?" Peyton laughed.

"All the time! It's torture." both girls laughed.

"Well, thanks for hanging out I really do appreciate it and I'm really glad there isn't any weirdness between us." Peyton said and leaned in for a hug which Rachel returned.

Peyton got out of the car and Rachel waited for her to go inside. Peyton turned and waved at Rachel before going inside and she waved back. Rachel then drove off back to her house having no idea who was waiting for her.

**Thanks for the reviews spashley20, Berridga, Farah A, and xMAZxEBx. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. Please review if you read I really want to know you think plus it motivates me to write the next chapter faster. Remember this is going to be an angsty fic so things will probably be bad before they get better. **


	4. Losing All Control

**Losing All Control**

**Chapter 4**

_**I'm Losing You**_

_**I'm Losing All Control**_

Rachel walked up her front lawn to find Brooke sitting on the front porch waiting. "Brooke" Rachel smiled "Have you been here long? I wasn't expecting you"

"No, not that long" Brooke stated. "Where were you?"

Rachel thought for a moment wondering if she should tell her she was with Peyton or not. She did not want to have another fight with Brooke again.

"I've just been with Lucas." Rachel lied. Brooke nodded.

Brooke was so angry inside but didn't want to make it noticeable. "Control yourself" Brooke thought to herself.

"You okay, B?" Rachel asked "You don't look too happy."

"I'm fine, everything is just perfectly fine." Brooke told her with a tight smile "Let's just go inside" Rachel nodded but not believing Brooke.

Rachel fell back on her bed and leaned against the headboard while Brooke paced the room. Rachel knew there was definitely something bothering her so she decided to ask her again if everything was okay.

"Hun, seriously is everything alright? Why are you pacing?" Rachel asked concerned.

"Rach, I love you." Brooke told her as she leaned against Rachel's desk. Rachel smiled at her.

"I love you too, Brooke."

"Do you really?"

Rachel started to sit up not sure where this was going. "Baby, you know I love you. Why are you acting so weird?"

"I just find it hard to believe that you do because people who _love_ each other don't lie and sneak around behind their girlfriend's back." Brooke rose her voice. "You told me you loved me and only me. You said I had nothing to worry about that I could trust you"

Rachel had now moved to sit on the edge of the bed she looked at Brooke who stood a few feet away and was very angry. "Brooke! I really have no idea what your talking about."

Brooke sighed annoyed. "Stop lying and just tell me the truth."

"The truth about what?" Rachel stood up.

"I know you weren't with Lucas tonight! I saw you and Peyton leave your house!" Brooke yelled. Rachel didn't know what to say. She stood there shocked not knowing that Brooke saw her and Peyton together. Her heart started to beat faster and she grew nervous. "How can you cheat on me, Rachel!

"Brooke I--"

"You what? You're sorry? Is that what your going to say?"

"Brooke please let me explain it's not what you think." Rachel started.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say." Brooke said and shoved her slightly on the shoulder "It's all going to be lies."

Rachel's arm went straight to her shoulder "Brooke please just listen to me. There is nothing going on with me and Peyton. We're just friends I swear" Rachel pleaded "She just had a lot going on and didn't want to be alone and so I just felt sorry for her so I invited her over. That's it." Rachel waited for Brooke to say something but then Rachel's room phone began to ring. Brooke looked over to the phone and then back at Rachel to see if she would answer. "Brooke please say something. You have to believe me." Rachel moved a few steps forward. "Look if you want me to stop seeing Peyton I will just-" Rachel stopped speaking when she heard Peyton's voice on the answering machine. Brooke immediately looked over at Rachel's phone.

"_Hey Rachel it's me, Peyton. I guess your not home but I just wanted to say thanks again for tonight. I really enjoy your company and I'm really glad you liked the mix I gave you. See you at school. Bye"_

Brooke pressed her lips together and took a deep breath and looked back at Rachel. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Could Rachel, the girl who claimed to love her, really being doing this to her?

"Another lie, Rachel, another lie! You said you just let her borrow a CD but it was a mix she made for you!" Brooke clenched her fists that hung by her side. She looked at Rachel who was crying. Brooke put her arm up and was about to slap the girl in front of her but when she saw Rachel flinch she stopped herself. She was pissed off but she did promise Rachel she wouldn't hit her again. "I'm pissed off Rachel I really am but I made a promise to you that I wouldn't hit you so I won't but we're over Rachel. I can't do this." Tears stung Brooke's eyes but she held them back. "I love you so much but you and Peyton have something going on and I'm not just going to sit hear like some idiot and allow it so we're done."

_**Just Let Me Be**_

_**Let Me Be Alone For Now**_

Rachel cried, "Brooke it's not like that. There is nothing going on with me and Peyton! It's all just a misunderstanding"

"I wish you two the best" Brooke said as one tear escaped the corner of her eye and she turned around to walk out.

Rachel grabbed a hold of Brooke's wrist "Don't go" she said in a soft whisper. "It can't end this way."

"Rachel let go please" Brooke replied not looking back at Rachel.

"Brooke..." she said letting go of her wrist "Please don't say it's over. Can we please just talk about it. Let's work it out please. Say it's not over say we can work it out"

Brooke sighed, "I need some time to think. I need to be alone right now. I can't look at you right now." she said and left the room leaving a broken hearted Rachel.

Brooke walked up to Chris' door and knocked. She didn't feel feel like barging in this time. He opened the door and immediately knew something was up. Her eyes were swollen from crying and she had tear stains on her cheeks. He pulled her in for a hug and buried her face into his chest.

"We broke up" she said softly once they were inside on the couch.

"What?!" he said shocked.

"When I got to Rachel's I saw her leave with Peyton, that girl I told you about so I waited for Rachel to get back and then we got into this huge fight about it. I told her how she kept lying to me about Peyton and she told me there was nothing going on and then Peyton called and left a message on the machine and I just know there's something going on even though Rachel keeps denying it. I told her it was over." Brooke explained and a tear began to roll down her cheek and Chris wiped it away with his thumb.

"I'm really sorry, Brooke. Are you sure you two can't work it out?" he asked pulling her close to him.

"The thought of the two of them together...I just can't see Rachel the same way you know."

"Brooke are you positive that they have something going on? Maybe, Rachel is telling the truth and it's all just a misunderstanding. You two seemed meant to be. You both were so happy...for at least most of the relationship. Yeah you had your arguments but nothing you couldn't overcome."

_Rachel sat on her bed leaning against the headboard reading an issue of Cosmopolitan. Brooke was gone for the weekend for the cheerleading tournament in Raleigh and Rachel wasn't able to make it. It was their first weekend not seeing each other since they had gotten together three months ago and it was killing both of them. _

_Brooke called every second she could get away from the squad and was texting Rachel constantly telling her how much she missed her. She also sent her a few dirty text messages that would always make Rachel smile. _

_It was Sunday night and Brooke had said she would head straight over to Rachel's the minute she got back to Tree Hill. The day went by so slow for Rachel she was desperate to see her girlfriend. Rachel's phone vibrated and she saw the caller id said Brooke. _

"_Please tell me your almost here. I'm dying to see you. I missed you like crazy." Rachel said into the phone. _

"_Bad news, baby. The bus broke down and we won't get to Tree Hill until like two in the morning or so."_

_Rachel closed the magazine and placed it on her bed. "You have got to be kidding me. I haven't seen you in like three whole days."_

"_I know, hun, I'm really sorry."_

"_It's not your fault. It really does suck though." _

"_It really does but I'll see you tomorrow. I'll pick you up and we can go to school together."_

"_See you tomorrow then." Rachel said and hung up the phone and sighed. She grabbed the magazine up and started to flip the pages but heard a knock on the door. "Come in" she said annoyed._

_She continued to read her magazine as the door opened. She didn't look up thinking it was her mom coming in to tell her something unimportant._

"_Damn, your sexy" Rachel heard a familiar voice say. She quickly shot her head up and saw Brooke standing in the doorway._

"_Brooke! Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed getting up to give her girlfriend a hug._

"_Surprise" Brooke said with a sexy smile. She hugged Rachel back. _

"_I'm so glad you're here"_

_The two girls made their way to Rachel's bed and laid down next to each. Brooke resting her head on Rachel. _

"_I hated not being with you this weekend. We've been inseparable since the day we met." Brooke said aloud and Rachel nodded. "You know the whole time I was away these past few days I couldn't stop thinking about you and I missed you like crazy and I came to realize that I love you, Rachel." Brooke had just said she loved Rachel for the first time. She looked at her waiting to see what she would say and started to get nervous thinking that Rachel didn't feel the same way._

_Rachel grew a smile on her face and looking at Brooke she brushed away a lock of hair that fell on her face and said, "I love you too, Brooke." _

_Brooke slowly pushed her lips softly onto Rachel's after hearing that Rachel loved her. They pulled away and after opening their eyes they both had huge grins on their faces. _

"I love her Chris, I do but this is just too much for me right now." she said and he nodded. "Please tell me you have alcohol. I need to forget even if it's just for a few hours."

"I'll be right back." he told her leaving her on the couch with her head buried in her hands.

A few minutes later he came back with two plastic cups, a liter of coke, and a bottle of Grey Goose. He prepared the two of them drinks and made them pretty strong. Brooke held her cup and knocked it against Chris' "Cheers" she said with a fake smile.

An hour later, Brooke and Chris could not contain themselves from laughter. They were both pretty drunk and at that moment Brooke didn't feel any pain. "Christopher Keller! You are my best friend! And I love you!" she said laughing. "I only love you not Rachel...

Chris laughed. "Is that so?"

"It is very so!" she said getting up from the couch. "You see my girlfriend, Rachel, has been cheating on me with Peyton Sawyer!"

"Brooke Penelope Davis! Christopher Keller ain't believing that."

"Well Christopher Keller you better believe it and don't talk in the third person, loser!" she slurred. "I need to forget about Rachellll! Come on" she said taking his hand "Come to my house"

"For what I am perfectly fine on this comfy couch" he said pulling her down onto his lap.

She stumbled a little as she got up off his lap "Just come on! I need to moving on and so the first step is to get rid of all the pictures of me and Rachel I have!" she slurred. She took his hand again and she pulled him up. They both stumbled their way out the door and across the lawn to Brooke's house.

Rachel had been in her room crying for the past hour in half or so and couldn't take it anymore. She needed to see Brooke now. It was killing her that Brooke thought she was cheating on her with Peyton. She grabbed her keys and went to her car and drove to Brooke's.

When she arrived she could see that Brooke's room light was on so she knew she had to be awake. She entered Brooke's house without knocking and headed straight to her room. She knocked twice and opened the door. She was stunned at the sight that appeared before her. Clothes were scattered all over the floor and on the bed was a naked Brooke and a naked Chris under Brooke's thin sheets. Chris and Brooke both looked at the girl who stood at the doorway. They were still both in a drunken state at least Chris was but the moment Brooke saw Rachel she had sobered up enough to realize what she had just done.

"Rach I--"

As soon as Rachel heard Brooke speak she quickly made her way out of the house, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. Brooke...her Brooke... had just slept with Chris Keller.

_**Once Again We've Gone Off Track**_

_**And Lost All Hope For Coming Back**_

**Thanks for the review, Farah A, spashley20, and Lena (love you whore!)**

**Lyrics in bold and _italicized _are from the song 'Losing all Control by Rooney'**

**Hope everyone liked it. Please Read and Review. **


	5. These Aren't Tears They're Atom Bombs

**These Aren't Tears. They're Atom Bombs**

**Chapter 5**

_**Look me in the eye**_

_**When you tell me you don't love me**_

_**It'll help you feel the pain you're trying to ignore**_

_Brooke had her arms around Chris as they both stumbled up the stairs to her room. She went to her room and they fell to the floor laughing their heads off. Brooke then crawled towards the bed and pulled out a box from under the bed. She crawled back next to Chris and he opened the box that had tons of photos of Brooke and Rachel and a bunch of letters that Rachel had most likely written her over the course of their relationship._

_Brooke held up the picture that was on top. It was of Rachel kissing Brooke on her cheek. They both looked extremely happy like nothing could ever go wrong. "I wish I could go back to this moment where nothing else mattered but us." she told Chris and he just listened. "Why did she have to do this to me?" she said tears stinging her eyes "Damn it why!" she cried and then tore the photo in half and tossed it to the side. "I just wanted her to love me like I love her. I just want to be loved Chris." she said turning her head to look at him. He looked down at her and their eyes locked. _

"_I love you, Brooke." He said to her and they couldn't look away from each other. So many emotions were going through the both of them especially since they had been drinking. Brooke felt so lost at that moment. She felt like a piece of her died hours earlier and she just wanted to kill the pain. She didn't want to think of Rachel anymore. She just wanted to forget. Chris crashed his lips on hers and she reciprocated for a few seconds but then pulled away. She looked at him confused not sure what was going on. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I just..." He was then cut off by her lips on his. His hands moved to cup her face and she ran her hands through his hair. It became more intense and they rose from the floor and his hands roamed her body. As they made their way towards the bed the box of photos and letters were knocked over. They fell back onto the bed and Chris was on top of her and his kisses moved down to her neck causing her to moan. Items of clothing were beginning to fall onto the floor and shortly after that they were having sex. After it was over they both laid their underneath the sheets not saying a word. They both still felt drunk and still hadn't processed what had just happened. Chris placed a kiss on Brooke's shoulder and then closed his eyes to get some sleep. Brooke placed her hand over the spot where Chris just kissed her. She wasn't sure what to think now. She was more confused now more than ever._

_Rachel entered Brooke's house without knocking and headed straight to her room. She knocked twice and opened the door. She was stunned at the sight that appeared before her. Clothes were scattered all over the floor and on the bed was a naked Brooke and a naked Chris under Brooke's thin sheets. Chris and Brooke both looked at the girl who stood at the doorway. They were still both in a drunken state at least Chris was but the moment Brooke saw Rachel she had sobered up enough to realize what she had just done. _

"_Rach I--" _

_**I'm not afraid to die**_

_**but I'm scared to death I'll lose you**_

_**you're fragrance slowly fades from my shoulder**_

_**is this what love feels like?**_

_**When it's over**_

Brooke watched as Rachel immediately left her room at the sound of her voice. She brought her hands to her face. She couldn't believe what Rachel had just seen. "Shit"

"Brooke"

"You should go." she told him flatly

He reached for his boxers slipped them on and then looked for the rest of his clothes. He put his shirt on followed buy his jeans. Brooke had sat up on the edge of her bed and had wrapped herself with the bed sheet and was just waiting for Chris to leave before she could put some clothes on.

"Brooke, don't you think we should talk about what happened." he told her as he knelt down by her side.

"Just go, Chris" she said sternly not looking at him.

He stood up and walked towards the door as he stood in the doorway he looked back at her. She looked so sad sitting there staring at the wall. "I'll check up on you later, Brooke." He waited a few moments seeing if she'd say something but she didn't say a word and so he left.

Rachel couldn't stop crying as she drove to the only person she could go to talk about this too. She parked right in front of the house and pulled out her cell dialing the familiar number. It rang three times and finally she heard a groggy voice on the other line.

"Hello?" Lucas said groaned.

"It's me"

"Rachel? What time is it?" he groaned and looked over at his clock on his night stand. "Rachel it's three in the morning what's up?" he could hear her sniffling. "Are you crying? Is everything okay?" he asked concerned.

"I'm parked right outside your house. I just really need someone to talk to right now."

"I'll be right out" he told her and hung up. He climbed out of bed he was in his black wife beater and pajama pants. He walked outside from his room door and saw a very distraught Rachel leaning against the car. "Come here" he said pulling her into a tight hug. "Talk to me. Tell me what happened." She couldn't hold back the tears they continued to roll down her face and therefore couldn't explain to Lucas what happened. She needed to get a hold of herself. "Shh It's going to be okay." he said as he held her close as she cried on his shoulder leaving mascara stains on his shirt and his hand rested on her head.

After a lot of crying Rachel pulled away from Lucas and was able to tell him everything that happened that night. She slipped her hands into his and they went back into his room. They sat on his bed and she began explaining from the beginning. She told him about Peyton giving her the mix at school and how Brooke saw and lied saying it was just a CD she let her borrow. She then continued to tell him about finding Peyton walking alone and she invited her over. Rachel told him the moment she shared with Peyton that had seemed more than friendly on Peyton's part but how she immediately took her home after that. Then she told him how Brooke was waiting for her when she got back home and about the big fight they had and that Brooke had ended things. Rachel conveniently left out the fact that Brooke had hit her numerous times She told him that she had never felt more broken in her whole life than that moment. The whole time Lucas just sat their listening to Rachel pour her heart out about Rachel how she was the one for her and could never imagine being with anyone else but her. Finally, after a little more crying she told him that she went to see Brooke to try and work things out but instead saw her and Chris in bed.

"Brooke and Chris? Are you serious, Rachel"

"Yes! I saw it with my own eyes. I'm so disgusted by her now but I can't help to still feel so hurt." she cried "I don't understand how she could do that, Luke. How could she do that to me?" Rachel said as she slowly began to lay down placing her head on Luke's pillow. He placed his hand on the side of her face and gave her a hopeful smile.

"I'm sorry, Rach." He placed a kiss on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. "You're a good person and you did nothing wrong. She doesn't deserve you." he pulled away from "You'll make it through this and I'm going to be here for you when ever you need me, I promise"

"Thank you, Lucas. I'm really lucky to have a best friend like you. I really am grateful." she told him with a slight smile. And with that said they drifted off to sleep.

_**My speed is my defeat**_

_**They say time heals all**_

_**And that may ring true for some**_

_**But they haven't felt your blade**_

_**is this what love feels like?**_

_**When it's over**_

Brooke stood under the shower head as the hot water hit her body. She stood there crying for being so stupid. She had just lost the love her life and it was killing her. She felt so sick. The pit of her stomach felt so empty and her heart felt like a bunch of daggers were piercing it. She hated herself at that moment she didn't know what to do or what to say to Rachel when she'd have to see her. She started to hit the shower wall with her clenched fist. She was so angry, not with Rachel but with herself. Sure she had the idea of Rachel with Peyton in her head. She highly suspected that Rachel was cheating on her but she never actually had any proof. She began to think that maybe Rachel was telling the truth and that she was only friends with Peyton. Brooke knew there was something she had to do now and that was to find out the truth.

Brooke couldn't sleep that night at all. She didn't want to sleep in her bed after having sex with Chris in it so she stayed in the guest room. She tossed and turned all night. It really felt like the longest night she had ever lived. She just stared at the clock and watch as each minute passed. She saw sunlight crack through the window. It was nearly 7am and she had not slept at all. She got up off the bed and walked over to the window. She opened the blinds and looked out the window just wishing she could go back in time and change everything that happened. She wanted to take back her fight with Rachel.

Brooke looked over at the clock and it was almost noon. She had stayed in that room the whole morning. She didn't want to leave and have to face reality but she knew she couldn't hide forever so she walked out of her house got into her baby blue VW beetle and drove. She ended up at a house she really rather not be at but she wanted to know the truth. She walked up the front lawn and rang the doorbell. She heard footsteps coming towards the door and she took a couple steps back. The door opened and there stood the girl with the perfect blonde curls. She looked confused as she looked at Brooke.

_**I wish to God I could sleep**_

_**I wish that I was hers**_

" What are you doing here?" Peyton asked. She had never seen Brooke like this. Her eyes were puffy from crying and she didn't have any make up on. She was wearing a t shirt and sweats and her hair was up in a bun. "Brooke, you look like a mess what's going on?"

"I need to know the truth, Peyton. Look,you're not my favorite person so it took a lot of strength to come here to your house but I need to know." Brooke said not looking directly at her.

"Know what?" she asked confused.

"You and Rachel. Is there something going on between the two of you?"

Peyton stood their not really sure what was going on. "Brooke."

"Peyton please just tell me the truth. Don't lie to me" she begged.

Peyton saw that Brooke was on the verge of tears. She always thought of Brooke as a strong and independent girl. She never thought she could be so vulnerable. "Brooke, I promise there is nothing going on with me and Rachel." Peyton assured her "I did see her last night, I won't lie to you but we just hung out listening to music and she couldn't stop talking about you actually. She's very much in love with you Brooke that's for sure. I'm very envious of your relationship. I really hope I find someone one day to love me the way Rachel loves you"

Tears streamed down Brooke's face. Rachel _was_ telling the truth there was absolutely nothing going on with Peyton. She could tell Peyton wasn't lying now if she could believe her why was it so hard to believe Rachel. She ended things with Rachel for no reason and it really was just a misunderstanding but now Rachel won't even be able to look at her after seeing her with Chris last night. "God why did I have to be so stupid!"

"Did you and Rachel break up?" Peyton questioned and Brooke nodded. "You want to come in and talk about it?" she asked. Brooke looked at her then looked down at the ground not sure if she should or not. She was never friends with Peyton and it would feel weird just being alone with her and not with the squad. But she really did need to talk to someone about because if she didn't she felt like she was about to explode if she kept it all inside and there's no way in hell she could talk to Chris right now. It would be way too awkward. She wasn't even sure if she could be friends with him as of now.

"That would be great, Peyton." she said as she slowly walked into Peyton's house something she never thought she'd ever do.

Peyton led Brooke into the kitchen, grabbed two bottle of waters and handed one to Brooke and they sat down at the breakfast table. There were few moments of silence. Neither one of them knowing what to say first but Peyton finally spoke. "So what exactly happened?"

Now it was Brooke's turn to explain everything that had been going on between her and Rachel. She too though, conveniently left out the part about her hitting Rachel. She told her pretty much the same thing Rachel had told Lucas. She then told her about Chris, how he's been her best friend since forever and that after her big fight with Rachel she went over to see him and they got way too drunk and slept together. Before telling her about Rachel walking in on them she let out a few tears and Peyton handed her a tissue so she could dab them away. "What happened with Chris was a big mistake. I don't why I even did it you know. I was drunk and stupid and at the moment it helped fight the pain away. I just want things to go back to how they were. Now, I can't even face Rachel and I don't know if I could ever be friends with Chris because it would be too awkward now." Brooke cried. "How could I screw everything up. I'm such an idiot."

"Brooke you are not an idiot."

"Yes I am, Peyton!" Brooked cried into her hands

"I know we're not exactly friends but I can see how sorry you are for what you did. You need to be strong, suck it up, and go talk to Rachel. Crying isn't going to solve anything it just makes you feel even more alone. Trust me I know. You need to fight for her." Peyton told her.

Brooke brought her head up from her hands and looked at her. Peyton wiped away a tear that was rolling down Brooke's cheek. "I'm sorry, Peyton."

"For what?"

"We're not even friends and I'm dumping all my problems on you. You don't need this." she let out a small laugh.

"Brooke, don't be sorry. I'm glad I can be here for you. I really hope things work out with you and Rachel." Brooke nodded. "Go pour your heart out and get her back." Peyton told her with a smile. Brooke started to stand up from her chair and Peyton did the same.

"Thank you Peyton." Brooke said with a tilted head and a grateful smile. Peyton embraced her with a hug.

"I'm sure everything will turn out okay." Peyton told her pulling away.

When Brooke left Peyton's house she decided to head over straight to Rachel's. She didn't care about her appearance at the moment she just needed to see Rachel. She needed to tell her how sorry she was about not trusting her and she needed to tell her that sleeping with Chris was a huge mistake. She needed to tell how much she loved her.

Pulling into Rachel's house she noticed her car wasn't there and had no idea where she could be. It didn't matter though she was going to sit in her car and just wait until she got home no matter how long it took her.

It had been two hours since Brooke had arrived at Rachel's house when she finally saw a black Tahoe pull into the house. Brooke sat up in her seat and noticed that Rachel wasn't alone but that Lucas was with her. As she saw the two friends get out of the car and make there way towards the door, Brooke did the same thing. Rachel only glared at her as she walked up the porch steps and Lucas followed behind her. Brook reached the front steps. "Rachel-"

Rachel turned to look at her "Get the fuck out of here" she said flatly and turned around and walked into her house. Brooke couldn't believe the words she heard come out of Rachel's mouth. She just stood there stunned.

_**I wish to God I didn't know**_

_**I wish to God I didn't care**_

_**Is this what blood feels like?**_

_**When it runs colder**_

"I'll be up in a sec, Rach" Lucas told her and Rachel nodded and closed the front door.

Lucas turned to Brooke walked down the front steps. "Listen, Brooke, you can obviously see that Rachel wants nothing to do with you anymore so I think the best thing to do would be to stay away with her. Don't call her, don't text her, don't email her, don't talk to her period." he said in a firm tone.

"Lucas, I don't think I can do that."

"Well, you're going to have to. I won't let you hurt Rachel again. How could you do that to her?!" he began to raise his voice. "She cried for hours last night and it hurt me so much to see her that way and there's no way I'm going to let you do that to her again."

Brooke looked away from her. She hated the fact that she hurt Rachel so bad. It wasn't her intention to do this to her. "I love her, Lucas. I love her with all my heart and soul."

"You have a hell of a way of showing it" he laughed sarcastically.

"Lucas, just stop! I need to talk to her. Please just give me five minutes with her." Brooke pleaded.

Lucas sighed, "Just go home Brooke...or better yet go to Chris. I'm sure he can help you through all of this."

Brooke shoved him "You're an asshole." she told him pissed off. She turned around and walked to her car. She drove away from Rachel's house and Rachel stood by her window watching her go.

_**And so this is goodbye**_

_**My heart tells me it's over**_

_**the drive helps ease the pain**_

_**...I wish that I was hers...**_

**Thank you everyone who reviewed—spashlye20, Lena my favorite betch, angel0wonder, and melovedk. I really appreciated it. Hope you everyone is liking this story so far. This is the favorite one so far that I've written. Please read and review. thanks!**


	6. Lost With One Goodbye

**Lost With One Goodbye**

**Chapter 6**

_**Felt too much, did she feel a thing?**_

_**Long, dark hair, never saw her cry**_

_**In two halves I was torn**_

_**My maybe love who wouldn't even try**_

"You ready?" Lucas asked her walking into Rachel's room and she nodded. She walked over to him and he grabbed her bag that had her things. Lucas told Rachel that she could stay with him for a few days. He knew she didn't want to be alone in that big house of hers and he didn't want her to be. He was always going to be there for her.

Rachel handed Lucas the keys so he could drive back to his house. During the car ride there she broke the silence. "What did Brooke say when you two were outside?" she asked curiously.

"Does it really matter, Rachel? It's time to move on and I don't think you should really care what she says now." he replied.

"Lucas, it's not that easy. We've been together for nearly two in half years and that's a long time. My feelings won't just change overnight. I still love her you know." she said and then turned her head to look out the window.

"Of course you do. I'm not saying you don't but I'm saying you need to start forgetting about her starting now." he told her. "If she calls or emails you or anything don't respond. You should delete her number off your phone too."

Rachel thought for a moment. Could this actually be happening. Could her and Brooke actually be over after everything. It still felt so surreal. She thought back to some happy memories she's shared with Brooke and smiled to herself, but then thought back to last night, seeing her in bed with Chris, her smile fell. It made her feel so sick the thought of them having sex. She still couldn't believe that Brooke had slept with Chris. It made her wonder now if they had been together before.

"I can't Lucas. At least not yet." she told him sadly.

He looked over at her for a moment and she was leaning her head against the window and stared out at the passing view. He felt so bad for her. He really did think that Brooke was the one for Rachel. Like she had just said they'd been together for two in half years. And throughout that time Lucas had seen how the two girls acted around each other and it seemed like it true love but now everything always was seemed different when you were an outsider. Something could see so perfect to you but behind closed doors so much happens that you could never have imagined.

Brooke drove straight home after leaving Rachel's. She went straight up to her room and went over to her bed taking off all the sheets forcefully. She put it in a pile in the corner of her room. She went over to the hallway closet and grabbed some new ones and put them on her bed. She sat down on the edge and her eyes made their way over to the box of pictures and letters that were knocked over the night before. She walked over to it and placed all the pictures and letters back in the box. She picked up one letter and read it. It was the letter Rachel had given her on their one year anniversary.

_Brooke,_

_Happy one year babe! Can you believe we've made it to one year already? It has certainly gone very fast. I feel like just yesterday you bought me that cute top at the mall and went out for ice cream. I'm never going to forget it the first day we met. You know, I can't picture my life with out you ever now. You've become such a huge part of my it that I can't ever imagine you gone. You mean so much to me. I love with all my body, all my soul, and all my heart. You're my world. You're my everything. You're my Brooke._

_With Love Always,_

_Rachel_

Tears were streaming down Brooke's face now; she had never cried so much in her life before. It hurt so much and she didn't know what to do now. She folded up the letter that now had tear drops on them and put it in the box. She picked up the photo she had torn the night before and stood up. She walked over to her desk and taped the picture back together and held it up in front of her. Her thoughts were cut off by a knock on her room door she looked over and saw Chris who didn't look too happy. She looked away from him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I wanted to see how you were doing" he told her taking a few steps inside her room.

"How I'm doing?" she asked annoyed. "I'm a mess, Chris! How could you let last night happened!" she yelled now looking at him.

"You were there too don't put all the blame on me!" he yelled back.

"If I remember correctly you kissed me first though. You knew how upset I was over Rachel and you kissed me!"

"I was drunk, Brooke! I wasn't in the best state of mind. You can't make this all my fault no matter what you say."

Brooke groaned. "I can't deal with you right now Chris. Can you just go please?"

Chris moved closer to her "No, we're going to deal with this now." he told her softly "Last night was amazing Brooke. You can't tell me you didn't feel anything. Just pretend Rachel didn't exist. You know you felt something." he said as he started to put his hand on her waist and she furrowed her eyebrows and stepped away from him.

"Last night was a mistake Chris, a huge mistake that I can't take back but wish I could. Rachel will _always_ exist to me. You and I will never have sex again do you understand?"

Chris looked away sadly "Don't say that, Brooke. Don't say what happened was a mistake. We should be together and you know it. We need to give us a chance"

"Chris, where is all this coming from?" she questioned. He seemed so serious.

He shrugged "I don't know but after last night after _being _with you it seemed so right. Our bodies fit perfectly with each other we were so in sync. Can you honestly tell me you felt nothing?" his eyes were now fixated on hers. "I do love you Brooke. You know that."

Hearing Chris talk like this broke Brooke's heart. She felt so bad that her feelings weren't the same as his. She loved him so much but in a friendship sort of way only, nothing more. She moved back closer to him and took a hold of his hands. "Chris, honey, you know I love you too." she told him and he looked at her with a tinge of hope. "but in a friendship way only. I'm so sorry but I don't feel the same way and it breaks my heart hearing you talk like that about me but I meant what I said that you and I can never happen again." She still had a hold of his hands in hers and brought them up to her lips and placed a kiss on them and then let them go. "I'm so in love with Rachel, Chris, and all I want right now is to have her back in my arms, to kiss her lips again, to feel her touch." Chris nodded. "You will always be my best friend though, always."

"I think I'm gonna go." he told her. He put his hands in his pockets and began to walk away.

"Chris-" Brooke said and tears stung her eyes.

"I don't think I'll be around much now, so I guess I'll just see you around." he looked at her one last time and then started to walk out the door.

"Chris, wait" she said trying to think of something to say. He stood there at the doorway not looking back but no words could seem to escape her lips. There was so much she wished she could tell him so he wouldn't leave and be so upset but there was really nothing else left to say. When he didn't hear her say anything he continued walking again not looking back. Brooke didn't know what to do anymore. Her life felt like it was all falling apart. Nothing seemed to fall in place anymore. Nothing felt like it was ever going to be the same.

_**I saw you yesterday**_

_**We shared a smile then went our separate ways**_

_**All the nights we shared**_

_**Were we just killing time**_

The next day at school felt like hell for both girls. They were so use to going together either Brooke picking up Rachel or vice versa. So much was changing now and it felt so different for both girls. Brooke walked into school as if she were a zombie; she walked past everyone like they weren't even there. She had put little effort in her appearance but still looked decent. She didn't have class with Rachel until the class before lunch and she was hoping she'd get a chance to talk to her then. Lucas wasn't in the same class as them so she knew that he wouldn't be a problem.

She walked into her first class and saw Bevin, a cheerleader from the squad, who had saved her a seat in the back of the room. She really rather not sit next to her because Bevin could be rather stupid at times and did not want to deal with that but unfortunately it was the only open seat left. Brooke forced a smile and walked over and sat down next to her.

"Brooke Davis, why do you look like death? Seriously put some make up on or something" Bevin told her with a small giggle.

"Seriously, Bevin, I can't deal with your shit right now so why don't shut up before I make you."

Bevin rolled her eyes, "Had another fight with Rachel? Don't you ever just get so tired of it. Of all the fighting. I know I would"

Brooke couldn't believe that Bevin actually kept talking. She could not stand her at times. "Bevin! Just shut up okay!"

"Wow, it must've been really bad for you to be acting extra bitchy today." Bevin continued speaking.

"We broke up okay!" Brooke yelled causing all eyes to be on her including the teacher's who had just walked in. Brooke looked around at all the faces and then back at Bevin who was shocked. Brooke felt like she was going to be sick. She ran out of that room as fast as she could and went straight to the nearest bathroom into a stall as she cried. She sat down on the floor with her knees close to her body. The day was starting off bad and she knew it could only get worse.

Rachel felt no different than Brooke did; she did have Lucas by her side though. Nothing felt right anymore to her. She loved Lucas for being there for her but walking down those halls without Brooke next to her felt so weird. It didn't feel right one bit but she knew she was going to have to get use to it. She would have happy thoughts of Brooke in her mind one second but they would soon disappear with images of her and Chris in bed together. She tried so hard to rid those thoughts but she couldn't.

The first three classes for Rachel went by so slow. She couldn't stop thinking of Brooke it drove her crazy now. She wanted so bad to see her and talk to her and tell her she forgave her and that everything would be okay but she knew that she would be not only lying to Brooke but to herself too if she said that.

After the bell for the end of third period rang, Brooke got out of the bathroom stall, washed her face and retouched her make out. It was time for fourth period, the class before lunch, the one she had with Rachel and she was going to do what she could to try to talk to Rachel even if it's for a minute. She just really needed to say how sorry she was for everything. Walking out of the restroom and walking towards her class she noticed many girls whispering and glancing at her. She knew that after yelling out she had broken up with Rachel in first period that by this time the whole school would know. She kept walking though and didn't look at anyone. She walked into the classroom and she didn't see Rachel. Brooke walked over to the back corner and sat there. She placed her bag in the seat next to her saving it for Rachel and hopefully she would accept to sit next to her. Brooke stared at the doorway waiting to see the red head appear.

A couple minutes later Rachel finally walked in and the students who were in class glanced at her and then at Brooke to see what would happen. Both girls hearts were racing uncontrollably fast they didn't know how to act now. Rachel rolled her eyes at her classmates and then locked eyes with Brooke. She could tell she had been crying and a part of her actually felt sad for her but she snapped back into reality and that sadness for her went away. Brooke motioned to the seat next to her with her hand hoping Rachel would sit there. Rachel could see in Brooke's eyes how bad she needed her to sit there but Rachel couldn't do it, she wouldn't do it so she sat down at the seat nearest to the door not looking back at Brooke. She took out her notebook and a pen and sat there waiting for class to begin. Brooke was so disappointed she grabbed her bag off the seat next and placed it on the floor. Her elbow rested on the desk and her head rested on hand. She was more broken hearted than she had ever been.

After what felt like the longest class ever the bell finally rang for lunch. Brooke quickly rose from her seat and walked over to Rachel who was still gathering her things and putting them in her bag. Rachel knew Brooke was standing there next to her but she acted as if she didn't notice. After slipping her notebook into her bag almost all the students had left the classroom except for three who stayed behind to talk to the teacher. Brooke stood there waiting for Rachel to look at her but no luck. As Rachel got up, making sure she didn't look at Brooke she spoke.

"Can you please get out of my way, thanks" Rachel said as she brushed pass Brooke. Brooke turned around and grabbed a hold of Rachel's wrist causing Rachel to stop. "Let go, Brooke"

Brooke let go and Rachel walked out of the classroom into the hallway and Brooke followed. "Can you please just let me talk to you for a minute?"

Rachel turned around and her face was one of disgust. "I can't even look at you, Brooke" Rachel told her as she looked Brooke from head to toe. "Every time I see you know all that I see in my head now is you and Chris in bed together. I won't ever see you the same again." she continued and now with tears in her eyes "You meant everything to me, Brooke. I could never cheat on you even though you thought differently. I never ever cheated on you with Peyton or anyone else. You were never in this relationship like I was. You never worked for it at all. The minute you ever doubted me you hit me and yelled at me." tears were now escaping Rachel's eyes "You could never seem to just try and work it out in a more appropriate manner. You hurt me so bad physically and emotionally and even then I forgave you each time but now after what I saw that was the final straw. The moment _you _break up with me you go and have sex with Chris. God knows how many times you've must've done it before." Rachel wiped the tears away from her face with the back of her hand. "It doesn't even matter anymore." she sighed "I'm going to move on now and you should do the same because don't even think for a second that I'm going to take you back. I gave you too many chances." Rachel's voice cracked "I love you Brooke I do but it won't ever be the same and so now I'm letting you go." Rachel finished and stared at Brooke who had tears streaming down her cheeks.

Brooke shook her head. "Rachel this can't be it. This can't the end of us. It just can't" Brooke cried as she looked at Rachel who was starting to tear up again. "It's been _you and me_ for so long. I can't imagine not saying 'I love you' anymore, not being able to kiss you, to hug you, hold your hand. Not waking up next to you anymore..."

"I can't do this anymore, Brooke. What you did is just something I can't forgive and forget. I don't think I ever could."

"Rachel, please listen to me, what happened with Chris was a huge mistake. I never meant for it to happen I was just pissed at you and I got drunk and I thought we were over for good. You have to forgive me, Rachel. I'm so sorry for everything. For hitting you and always yelling at you you never deserved any of that."

"No I didn't deserve any of it."

Brooke looked away for a moment. "And I'm sorry for not believing you about Peyton I know now that you were telling the truth. I went to see Peyton yesterday." Brooke explained and Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. "I had to go see her to know the truth...and I'm so sorry I didn't believe you before Rachel. We can work this out. I know we can please can we just try." Brooke pleaded. There had to be something she could say that could convince Rachel to take her back.

"I'm sorry Brooke but I just can't. There's no us anymore it's time to move on." Rachel said softly half meaning it and half not meaning it. Rachel knew Brooke was sorry. She knew that Brooke cared about her but she still couldn't let go of the fact that she had slept with Chris. It was too much to forgive. She knew how much Brooke truly loved her and that was partly the reason why she would always forgive her each time she hit her or had some stupid fight but it was different this time. Brooke had sex with someone and that was something Rachel just couldn't allow. This was one thing that Rachel couldn't forgive Brooke for. Rachel turned around, she wiped away her tears, took a deep breath and began to walk away.

"I love you, Rachel" Broke said still crying hoping that love could be enough to salvage their relationship.

Rachel turned around and looked at Brooke. She didn't say a word but something about the way Rachel looked at her gave Brooke some hope that she might come around one day. Something in the way her eyes locked with Brooke's made her feel good inside for a moment. Rachel gave her a slight smile and then turned around and walked away leaving a crying Brooke standing alone in the hallway.

_**For all the things I said to her**_

_**And all the ways I tried**_

_**And all the things I did for her**_

_**They're lost with one goodbye**_

At the end of the school day Brooke made her way to the gym for cheerleading practice meaning Rachel would be there. It was going to be so awkward now because they weren't together anymore. As she walked towards the gym doors she noticed Lucas at the water fountain filling his water bottle. He looked over at her and shook his head and she glared at him.

"It must hurt to see her and not be able to kiss her or touch her anymore right" he said still standing by the water fountain as she was about to open the door to the gym.

Brooke sighed deeply. Lucas was being such an ass to her and rubbing it in her face that she wasn't with Rachel anymore. Did he think it actually didn't hurt her? She turned to look at him. "Go to hell" she told him flatly.

Lucas laughed sarcastically "No, I think that's where you'll be going"

Brooke dropped her cheer bag on the floor and walked over to him. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem is you, Brooke."

"I'm sorry about Rachel, okay. You might think it doesn't hurt me or that I don't feel bad about what I did but the truth is I do." Brooke sighed "I really don't need to be telling you this. Just mind your business" she told him annoyed.

"Aw is the little slut upset."

Hearing Lucas call her a slut made her blood boil. He could hate her all he wanted for hurting Rachel but he had no right to call her a slut. She pushed him hard. "You have no right to call me that!" She pushed him again and he was closer to the wall. "I hate you Lucas!" She pushed him once again and he was not against the wall.

"What the hell Brooke" he yelled at her. But she kept pushing him. "Brooke stop it!"

"How can you just rub it in my face that I'm not with Rachel." she said continuing to hit him and he tried to stop her, tried to get a hold of her arms from hitting him. "I love her, Lucas! I have feelings contrary to what you might believe!"

Around the corner, one of Lucas' teammates, Nathan, was coming and saw what was going on and he rushed over and pulled Brooke away from Lucas and was now at the other wall on the opposite side of the hallway they were in. "Brooke, calm down." he told her as he held her arms from behind and Lucas stared not knowing what to think. She was crying now. She felt so vulnerable. Nathan let go of her and as she leaned against the wall she slowly fell to the floor. She brought her knees close to her and cried more. Nathan looked over at Lucas wanting to know answers but he just shrugged not knowing what to tell Nathan. "Go inside, Luke. I'll talk to her." Nathan told him and Lucas nodded. A part of Lucas now felt sorry for Brooke. He had no idea how bad she felt about the whole situation and now that he witnessed her basically breakdown he felt like an idiot for acting so rude to her.

Nathan looked down at Brooke who was crying non stop. He and Brooke were good friends; he was the captain of the basketball team and she was captain of the cheerleading squad so it was only natural that they ran in the same circle of friends and would always see each other at parties especially since most were either at his house or hers. But he had never dealt with something like this before. He sat down next to her feeling a tad bit uncomfortable. "I don't know what's really going on with you Brooke and I'm not really good with this kind of stuff but if you want to talk I'm here." he said and waited her for saying something. "I heard about you and Rachel so I'm guessing this is why you're so upset...I'm really sorry."

Brooke wiped her tears away. "Thanks Nathan, really, but I think I just want to be alone right now."

Nathan nodded. "Are you sure? I can ask one of the girls to come out here to be with you if you want." He said as they both started to stand up.

"No it's okay. I'm just going to head home. I can't deal with practice today. Could you do me a favor and tell the girls it's canceled for today."

Nathan nodded. "I will."

"Thanks, Nate."

"I hope you feel better, Davis." he told her and hugged her. When they pulled away she smiled at him. He turned around and walked into the gym. Brooke grabbed her bag off the floor by the water fountain and then left school. She was in too much pain to even go to practice. She just really needed to be alone now.

Nathan walked into the gym and headed over to where the group of girls sat on the bleachers waiting for their captain, Brooke, to arrive. Rachel looked at Nathan and he called her over and she jogged over to him.

"Brooke wanted me to tell you all that practice was canceled."

This confused Rachel because Brooke never missed practice. "What? Why?"

"Rachel." he said "I think you know why." he told her and she looked down at the floor. "Look I don't know what happened between the two of you but she is beyond upset. When I walked into the hallway she was crying and kept pushing Lucas against the wall and I had to pull her away."

When Rachel heard this she looked over at Lucas who had been shooting around the ball but was now fixated on Nathan and Rachel. Lucas knew that Nathan had told her what he saw. Rachel looked back at Nathan and she asked him why.

"I don't know why so you'll have to ask Lucas...or Brooke." She nodded and he walked off to where the rest of his teammates.

Rachel walked back to the cheerleaders and announced that practice was canceled. Most girls were happy they got go home early as they gathered their things Bevin spoke.

"So Rachel you're not going to tell us what happened between you and Brookie?" Bevin asked aloud and all the girls including Peyton looked over at Rachel.

"No I'm not going to, Bevin. As far as I'm concerned what happened between me and _Brooke_ is none of your business so you can move along now...all of you" Rachel said to the girls. The squad did as they were told and began leaving the gym and Rachel went over to the bleachers to gather her things. Peyton had stayed behind to make sure Rachel was okay.

"Hey Rach." Peyton said walking up next to Rachel. "Brooke told me what happened."

"Yeah, she told me she went to see you yesterday." Rachel said as she zipped up her cheer bag.

"If it makes a difference she really did seem upset and sorry for what she did."

"I know she is but that doesn't change what she did, Peyton." Rachel said now looking at Peyton. "Some things you just can't forgive." Peyton nodded. "I really don't want to talk about her right now. Since practice is canceled you want to hang out or something" Rachel asked her hoping she'd say yes. She really didn't want to be alone.

"Yeah, of course." Peyton smiled. Rachel followed her out the gym but then told her she'd meet her outside because she needed to tell Lucas something and Peyton nodded.

"Lucas." Rachel called out and Lucas jogged over to her.

He was panting. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Nathan told me what he saw so you have some explaining to do. I'll see you at your house later." she said and then turned around and walked out of the gym leaving Lucas standing their breathing heavily. He wasn't going to lie to his best friend but he knew that even though her and Brooke weren't on good terms she wouldn't be happy with what he said to her.

After practice Lucas didn't want to go straight home yet. He was going to try and avoid telling Rachel about what happened with Brooke as long as possible. So instead of driving home he drove to the river court. He got out of his car and started making his way towards the court and as he got closer to he noticed a brunette sitting on the picnic table with a beer in her hand. Getting closer he knew exactly who it was.

"Brooke?" he called out. It startled her and caused her to quickly turn her head and see that Lucas was standing just a few feet away from her.

Brooke scoffed, "Just perfect."

_**For all the things I said to her**_

_**And all the ways I tried**_

_**And all the things I did for her**_

_**They're lost with one goodbye**_

**Thank you for the reviews, spashley20, Lena – love you hoe, melovedk, and Farah A. Also wanted to let you all know I made a little promo/trailer video for my story so if you want to check it out it's on You Tube you can just search Never Enough fanfic promo/trailer. It should be the first video that pops up and the user name is JennVanessa. Please review if you can. Thanks for reading. **


	7. Fading

**Chapter 7 **

**Fading**

_**Run Away**_

_**Save yourself, let it go**_

_**It's too late**_

_**I'm losing you**_

_**You're Fading**_

"Just perfect" Brooke scoffed at the sight of Lucas. She wanted to be alone right now. She wanted to be away from it all for awhile. But then the last person she wanted to see had just appeared. She took a swig of her beer as she turned her body to face him now.

Lucas saw how broken she looked. He really did feel bad for her now even if it was her fault. And he really had been an ass to her earlier in the hallway and knew he had to apologize. "Listen, Brooke-"

"I rather not. In case you haven't noticed I can't stand you right now." she took a sip of her drink.

"Brooke do you think drinking is really going to help you?" he asked looking at the bottle in her hand and then looking at her.

"Can you just go away, please? I don't want to deal with your bullshit right now." she said annoyed.

"Look Brooke, about what I said to you earlier-"

"Oh yes, you called me a slut.. That was just wonderful" she sent him a fake smile.

"Brooke, I'm sorry." he sighed "I shouldn't have said that. I was just pissed 'cause of what you did with Rachel but you're right, I had no right to call you that."

"Wow, did you actually just apologize to me. I'm shocked." Brooke replied sarcastically.

Lucas rolled his eyes "I mean it. I'm sorry. I guess I didn't realize how much it hurt you too."

Brooke finished up the beer she was drinking and then grabbed another. "How could you not think it wouldn't hurt me Lucas? I mean I know we aren't close or anything but you've been around both me and Rachel to know well enough that I love her. What happened with Chris is something I wish never happened" she said the last part in an affirmative tone. She began downing her drink.

Lucas started to walk over to the table. "Are you sure Brooke? Maybe deep down you have feelings for Chris."

Brooke looked over at him as he sat down next to her. "I don't have feelings for Chris, Lucas. God. I love Rachel and only her. It's not that hard to comprehend. I made a mistake and now I'm suffering the consequences." She slurred and finished her drink. It was her third one and she was starting to feel it take effect on her. It usually took her longer to feel any affect but she hadn't eaten all day so she felt it sooner this time.

"Sorry, it was just a thought." he shrugged. "Why did you do it then?" he asked looking out in front in him.

Grabbing another drink from the six pack she had bought she spoke, "Why did I do it?" She said aloud. "I just...I was pissed. I thought she was sneaking around with Peyton so I told her it was over. I guess I just wanted to get back at her and I was drunk and Chris was there with me. I was upset and pissed and it just happened. I'm really hurting Lucas so bad." She felt a lump in her throat form.

"She's hurting too, Brooke."

"You think I don't know that? I saw the look on her face when she walked into my room and saw me and Chris. It was the worse feeling in the world. She looked at me and that look said so much than words could. She looked so hurt and she looked at me as if she didn't know me" A tear escaped from the corner of her eye. "I just really wish there was something I could do to get her back. I'm such a horrible person." she sighed.

"Brooke-"

"No, Lucas. I am. I never treated her like she should have been. I can't believe she actually put up with me for so long. I took her for granted. She gave me so many chances..." Brooke said sadly.

Lucas felt so bad for Brooke now, sad actually. The way he talked about her and the relationship she seemed to regret so much of the way she acted with her. She seemed hopeless now like everything would keep going downhill from here now.

"She's never going to forgive me is she." she said to him with a sad smile.

"I really can't speak for her, Brooke but you shouldn't give up on her if you really do love her. She might come around." he told her trying to give her some hope.

"I hope you're right Lucas" she slurred and then was brinigng the bottle up to her lips and Lucas reached for it.

"I think it's about time you stopped." he told her setting the bottle down on the table.

"It helps me Lucas. It's helping me right now."

"I don't think it is. You've had like what, four beers." he said looking at the empty bottles "and you're still upset. It doesn't kill the pain Brooke."

"What am I suppose to do then?" she brought her hands to her forehead "What am I suppose to do without her now?"

Lucas didn't know what to tell her. She didn't even seem like Brooke anymore. The girl who was always smiling and laughing. The girl who always seemed happy and could never be brought down.

"You need to sober up. Come on" he said getting up off the table. "I have a bottle of water in my car." he told her and she got up and stumbled slightly but was able to walk straight to his car fine. He grabbed the water from in his car and handed it to her as he leaned against his car and she drank. "You want me to follow you home?" he asked. She wasn't drunk but she had been drinking and he really rather be sure that she got home fine instead of worrying if anything happened to her.

She didn't feel too bad to drive now but she did like the fact that Lucas offered to make sure she got home okay and it certainly wouldn't hurt if he did. She nodded towards him and then finished drinking the water. "Thanks Lucas." she said giving him a weak smile.

After following Brooke home and making sure she got inside he headed over to his house expecting Rachel to be there waiting for him in his room. Though when he went inside she was no where to be found so he dialed her number and waited for an answer. Upon hearing the third ring she finally answered. "Hey Rach, where are you?...oh okay. Well I'll be here. See you soon." he said and hung up the phone and then headed for the shower.

"It was Lucas" Rachel said to Peyton as both girls sat on Peyton's bed. Citizen Cope was playing on Peyton's stereo.

After leaving the gym Peyton suggested they could go back to her house. They mainly talked about music and had listened to a bunch of records that Peyton had. Rachel was amazed by the collection of music Peyton had. They talked about everything except about Brooke. Peyton knew Rachel didn't want to talk about her until she was ready so she just made sure to stay clear of that subject.

"Oh. Do you have to go?" Peyton asked looking into her eyes.

Rachel smiled slightly, "No, I can stay a little longer." Peyton smiled.

"I know you don't want to talk about her but are you okay? Are you going to be okay?" Peyton asked referring to Brooke.

Rachel sighed and got up off the bed and started pacing "You know she's been a big part of my life for the longest time and right now I have so many emotions running through me. It feels like I'm not going to be okay." Rachel choked out. Peyton saw her eyes get watery so she stood up and walked over to her. She placed her hands on Rachel's shoulders.

"All you need is time, Rachel. I promise you you'll be okay and I'll be here when ever you need me. So try not to shed anymore tears" Peyton said wiping away a tear "I hate seeing you this way." Peyton hugged Rachel tightly.

"Thank you, Peyton. It really means a lot that you care" Rachel said softly pulling away from the hug. "I really should get going now it's getting kind of late and I need to talk to Lucas."

"Yeah, that's fine. So I'll see you at school tomorrow"

"Definitely" Rachel nodded and left Peyton's bedroom.

Peyton watched her leave with a smile plastered on her face. Now that Brooke was out of the picture Peyton could slowly make her way into Rachel's heart. She had started to grow a crush on her ever since they started hanging out a few weeks back. She had no idea that Rachel had such an awesome personality and such great taste in music. They had a lot in common and it really attracted Peyton and now that Rachel and Brooke were over she could be there for her as a friend and hopefully for Peyton's sake it could eventually turned into something more.

Before heading over to Lucas', Rachel made a stop at her house to pick up a few things. She went into his room and saw him sitting at his desk on his mac computer. He looked over at her and smiled. "Hey buddy. Where have you been?"

Rachel set down her things by the bed. "I was with Peyton" she said sitting on the edge of his bed and faced his direction.

"Nothing is going on between you two right?" Lucas questioned her.

Rachel looked at him like he was crazy "Of course not Lucas. Who do you think I am? Me and Brooke just broke up I wouldn't get into another relationship that quick. We're just friends." and Lucas nodded. "Speaking of Brooke care to explain to me what happened between you two before practice? Nate told me something about her hitting you? I hope you didn't say anything to hurt her on purpose because as much as I'm hurt and pissed at her I still don't want to hurt her intentionally nor want my best friend too either." she explained. She could tell by Lucas' face he looked guilty about something and she shook her head. "What did you say to her, Luke?"

He looked away for a moment and then looked back at her. "I was sort of rubbing it in her face that she wasn't with you anymore and then sort of called her a slut..." he managed to say.

Rachel stood up and her rose her voice "Lucas! How could you say that to her?" Rachel said.

"Look I know it was stupid okay I saw her tonight and apologized already so no need to lecture me, Rach"

Rachel sat back on the bed and her voice was quieter now "You saw her tonight?" she questioned.

"Yeah, I was trying to avoid this conversation with you because I know you would be upset with me and so I headed over to the river court and she was there." Lucas told her.

"How is she?" Rachel asked concerned. Even after everything that has happened she couldn't help but still care about her.

"Honestly, she's a mess Rachel. I've never seen her this way before. Captain of the cheerleading squad, one of the most popular girls at school, is now one of the most least happiest girls I've ever seen."

Suddenly Rachel didn't feel bad for her. "She brought this upon herself, Lucas. She deserves to be the way she is. She did what she did and now she has to deal with it."

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. "She was drinking _a lot_ Rach"

"Nothing new there. Don't feel sorry for her Lucas. Aren't you suppose to be my best friend?"

"Yes of course but we talked like really talked and she really does regret what she did. She has no one now."

"Am I actually hearing these words come from your mouth?"

Lucas sighed he felt defeated. "Okay, I'm sorry. You're right she has to deal with it." He closed his laptop and then went over to lay on the bed and Rachel looked at him. "I'm going to sleep now."

Rachel nodded. "I'm gonna take a quick shower."

There was a part of Lucas who still felt sorry for Brooke though. He saw her tonight and saw the state she was in. He couldn't help but feel bad for her. He knew what she did wasn't the smartest thing to do but after talking to her he knew how much she wished it never happened. He knew that Brooke loved Rachel and only Rachel and nothing would ever change that.

After her shower she climbed into bed with Lucas who seemed sound asleep. She knew he was there with her but for some reason she felt completely alone. She couldn't help but start to cry quietly until she finally drifted to sleep. She had no idea that Lucas hadn't been asleep and had heard her cry.

The following day at school was another long day. Brooke walked the halls not looking like a happy girl but she tried to force a smile at times. Rachel kept to herself a lot. During fourth period Rachel could feel Brooke's eyes burning on her but she made sure not to look back at her. Brooke tried hard to get her attention but had no luck. During lunch as Brooke walked outside she saw Rachel go off with Peyton, who seemed to be in a great mood and sat with Lucas. Lucas looked over to where Brooke was standing with her tray of food and his heart broke for her. Brooke caught his eyes and he smiled slightly and the turned back attention to Rachel and Peyton. After spending time with him last night, Brooke knew that he wouldn't hurt her with his words anymore.

_**Walls are closing in**_

_**You can't feel anything**_

_**Becoming one of them**_

_**Come back to me**_

Brooke felt so alone now as she looked at all the tables that were occupied. She normally sat with Rachel and occasionally they would sit with Lucas but now she couldn't. She didn't want to sit with the squad because she knew they would start to ask questions about what happened with her and Rachel and Bevin was at the table too of course and she was the last person she wanted to talk to. She couldn't call Chris either to stop by either because of the awkward situation they were in now. She looked over at the table Rachel was at once more and saw the three of them laughing about who knows what. She sighed, threw her food away, and went back inside and walked over to the gym. She knew no one would be there considering it was lunch so she could just kill time there until the bell rang. Walking in though she saw a guy shooting around at the other end of the gym. When he heard the door close he looked over his shoulder and saw Brooke.

"Brooke? What are you doing here?" Nathan asked somewhat smiling.

"I could ask you the same question" she kinked her eyebrow and he walked closer to her.

"I like to shoot around sometimes here during lunch when no on else is here. It seems kind of peaceful when no one else is here."

"Yeah, I guess it does." she said.

"So now it's your turn to tell me what you're doing here."

She let out a small laugh. "Well, usually I sit with Rachel at lunch but now that we're over that's not happening. And I don't want to sit with the squad because I know they're just going to be interrogating me non stop. I just can't deal with that right now so I decided to come in here. I figured no one would be in here but looks like I was wrong." she smiled "You don't mind do you."

He smiled back at her "Of course not."

"Thank you!" she laughed.

"I'm really sorry about you and Rachel by the way. If you need anything just let me know."

"Thanks Nate. I just need to get my mind off her. I can't take it. It's killing me inside." she told him.

"Okay then let's get your mind off her." he told her smiling and she looked at him confused. "Lets play one on one"

"Nathan...I'm in heels I don't think I can play basketball right now" she laughed.

"Well let's just shoot free throws then. You can do that right." he said passing the ball to her. She caught it.

"I suppose" she said smiling.

So for the rest of lunch period Brooke and Nathan shot free throws. Nathan kept making fun of how bad she was and she playfully would hit his arm and pout. It did get her mind off Rachel for the first time in 2 in half days. So once the bell rang she thanked Nathan and they shared a hug and she went on with the rest of her day until practice.

She knew it was going to be awkward with Rachel being there but she knew she had to suck it up and be strong. As she walked the hallway she saw Lucas at the water fountain with his water bottle in his hand but wasn't filling it up. It seemed more like he was waiting to talk to her. As she walked closer to the gym door he waved at her and called her over.

"Hey Luke what's up?" she asked him confused.

"Just wanted to check up on you see how you were doing?"

"Really?" she asked surprised

Lucas laughed "Yes really."

"Thanks Lucas, that's sweet and I'm doing best as can be expected. I guess with time my broken heart will heal."

"Or maybe with time she might realize that you and her are meant to be." he wanted to give her some hope.

"I'm always going to love her but I can't wait forever. I am going to have to let go eventually." she said to him and he nodded. "I'll see you, Lucas" she said and walked into the gym and he went to fill his bottle with water.

She saw the whole squad there already and they were stretching and then saw Rachel and Peyton together. It really broke her heart. As she continued to walk she looked over at the guys and saw Nathan who waved at her and she smiled and waved back and Rachel saw and furrowed her eyebrows. Peyton looked over her shoulder and back at Rachel.

"She's probably going to start hooking up with the team now one by one. She so did not deserve you Rachel."

"Peyton." Rachel glared at her.

"Sorry, only kidding...about the hooking part that is." Peyton said.

"Okay girls we need to start preparing for the Sparkle Classic which is coming up pretty soon I have the routine ready so we can work on the first part of it today." Brooke said to all of them as she sat down her bag next to the bleachers where the other girls had theirs. She stood there in front of them and they looked at her as they kept stretching as if they expected her to say something else. "Well get your asses off the floor and line up" They quickly got up off the floor as they were told to and lined up but of course Bevin couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"Still acting like a bitch I see" she laughed and a few girls smiled. "I guess breaking up with Rachel makes you act like you have a stick up your ass." This caused Rachel to look over at Bevin and then at Brooke.

"Leave!" Brooke yelled at Bevin. "Leave this gym right now before I do something I'll probably regret!"

Bevin was the only one laughing now. "Brooke are you serious? You think I'm scared of you or what you'll do? You're so wrong. You act like you're so above everyone else when you're in fact a little bitch who got her little cold heart broken and who has to tear us down to make yourself feel better"

As soon as Bevin finished speaking Brooke lunged at her and they were now both on the floor. Brooke threw a punch at Bevin and then Bevin pushed Brooke off. The guys were all looking now and both Lucas and Nathan started to make there way over. Brooke was going to hit Bevin again but Rachel grabbed her and pulled her away.

"Let go of me Rachel!" Brooke said pushing Rachel away from her causing Rachel to stumble and fall. Brooke, now regretting what she had just done, looked at Rachel who was now on the floor looking up at her. Rachel simply shook her head. "Rachel I-"

"What's going on?" Lucas asked in a stern voice looking at Brooke then at the squad and then at Rachel. Nathan looked at Brooke hoping she would say something.

Brooke simply went over to grab her bag off the floor and began to walk towards the doors and Nathan followed her. "Brooke wait up"

"Go back to practice Nate." she said turning around to face him. "Bevin was being a bitch okay that's all. Just go back to practice I'm fine." she told him. She quickly turned not leaving Nathan anytime to respond and so he jogged back to his teammates. The truth was she wasn't fine. She had just pushed Rachel and that certainly wasn't going to help Rachel forgive her any sooner. Leaving the gym and walking into the parking lot she went over and sat by Rachel's car. She wanted to tell her that she never meant to push her it was just a her first reaction. It was an accident.

Peyton held a hand out for Rachel and she took a hold of it and Peyton pulled her to her feet. "You okay?" she asked.

Rachel nodded "Yeah I'll be fine. Brooke's the one that needs some help." she sighed. She couldn't believe that even though her and Brooke were not together that she was still being pushed by her. She laughed bitterly at what had just happened.

"What was all that about?" Lucas asked Rachel. Rachel then explained to him what Bevin had said and that it had angered Brooke and so she punched her and that she pulled Brooke away and that Brooke pushed her and that she fell. Lucas shook his head. He knew that Brooke was going through a tough time and that what Bevin told her certainly wasn't helping her get through it and so he still continued to feel bad for her but a part of him couldn't believe that she had pushed Rachel. "I'm sure she didn't mean it" he suggested.

Rachel stared deeply into Lucas' eyes "Trust me she meant it" she said and then went to grab her bag and walked out of the gym into the parking lot. She was furious about what had just happened she just wanted to get out of there. As she reached her car she saw a brunette sitting next to it by the driver's door. Brooke looked at her and then stood up.

"Rachel, I'm so-"

"I don't want to hear it Brooke. You're never going to change. You just punched out Bevin and pushed me"

"Rachel, I'm so sorry. I never meant to push you. I was just so angry at Bevin about what she said and then you got a hold of me and my first reaction was to just get you off me but you have to believe me it was not on purpose. I wouldn't do that to you anymore"

"Brooke I really don't have time to listen to any of your bullshit" Rachel said annoyed. "Now please move out of the way so I can get into my car and leave" she said walking towards the driver's door that Brooke still blocked.

"No, I'm not moving. Why won't you believe me? I swear I didn't mean to do that to you."

"Why won't I believe you? Oh God, Brooke, are you seriously asking me that question?" Brooke nodded. "For almost our whole relationship you would always pushed me or hit me! How do you expect me to think you just magically changed in 2 days?"

"Rachel..." Brooke said so softly it was barely a whisper. She locked eyes with Rachel and her heart was beating fast. She placed her hand on Rachel's and ran it up her arm. Rachel stood there frozen she felt very overpowered by Brooke at that moment; the way she was looking at her and the way she touched her. Brooke's hand made it to Rachel's next and she was starting to pull her closer to her and both girls closed their eyes ready to kiss. Rachel came to her senses and pulled away quickly though and looked away from her.

"I can't." Rachel whispered.

"Why" Brooke pleaded.

"I think you know." Rachel said still not looking at her.

"Rachel please. I didn't mean anything that happened. You have to know that"

"Brooke can you just go? I can't do this with you right now." Rachel said. She wanted to leave so bad because she knew she would give in any second if Brooke stayed. She wanted Brooke so bad but she knew she couldn't after what Brooke did. Things were different now and Rachel knew she needed to have some self respect now. She needed to take charge for a change.

"Fine I'll go but I'm not going to give up on us." she said softly and then walked off towards her car. Rachel then got into her car and watched as Brooke walked away from her and she couldn't help but just sit there and cry. And as Brooke made it to her car she just sat there and cried. Both girls were both so broken without each other and neither of them wanted to have to be apart but you can't always get what you want.

_**Run Away**_

_**Save yourself, let it go**_

_**It's too late**_

_**I'm losing you**_

_**You're Fading**_

**Thank you for the reviews, angel0wonder, melovedk, Lena – hope you feel better, bleedlikeme, and spashley20. You're reviews always motivate me to keep writing and I would've had the chapter up sooner but I was too hung over to do anything yesterday lol. Anyway I hope you continue to read and review this story. **


	8. Willing to Wait

Willing To Wait

Chapter 8

_**Have your lips graced another's yet**_

_**or am I the only one?**_

_**Every time I speak to you**_

_**Those are the thoughts that run**_

It had been nearly three weeks since the incident that occurred in the gym. Rachel and Brooke had not spoken one word to each other since then though Brooke had called Rachel many times and had left many messages. She never got a response back. Sometimes during their 4th period class, English, Brooke would try to get Rachel's attention but she had no luck. For lunch Brooke would always spend it with Nathan in the gym. He had really become a close friend of hers in the past three weeks seeing that she couldn't really talk to Lucas because he's best friends with Rachel _and _she hadn't seen Chris since the day he told her he wanted to be with her. Nathan was the person she went to now and she really loved him for being there for her but a part of her really missed Chris. During cheerleading practice Rachel stuck close to Peyton and for Brooke that was tearing her apart but she stayed strong in front of everyone and made sure it didn't show how much it bothered her.

"Okay girls, great practice.You've got most of the routine down so by the time the Sparkle Classic comes along we'll be perfect." Brooke said to her squad with a smile. "Same time here tomorrow" she finished saying and then went over to the bleachers to gather her things. As she sat down and zipped up her bag she couldn't help but overhear a conversation from Peyton and Rachel who were off to the side. Brooke acted as if she weren't listening.

"So, what are you're plans for tomorrow night?" Brooke heard Peyton ask Rachel.

"Debating whether or not to go to Nathan's party tonight" Rachel responded. "What about you?"

"Nathan's..." Peyton told her "you should come. I can pick you up if you want" Peyton said with said smile.

"Oh I don't know," Rachel began "I haven't really been in a party mood lately"

"Which is why you should come!" Peyton said placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder causing the jealousy in Brooke to rise. "You haven't been to a party in like 3 weeks so it's time for you to start living a little again."

Rachel laughed, "Okay fine. I'll go," she gave in.

Peyton grinned, "Good. I'll pick you up tomorrow night then." she said to Rachel. "Come on let's get out of here." Peyton said to and both girls went over to get their cheerleading bags which were located right in front of where Brooke was sitting. Peyton grabbed hers and started to walk away followed by Rachel who glanced at Brooke for a moment with an emotionless expression. Brooke forced a weak smile but Rachel looked away leaving a broken hearted Brooke.

_**Say something else, girl**_

_**I don't want to have to leave**_

_**Our communication is hardly what it use to be**_

Brooke continued to sit where she was thinking about what just happened. She got the impression that Rachel was pretty much over her and she couldn't believe Peyton. She knew exactly what she was doing, moving in on Rachel. Brooke couldn't believe that Rachel was so oblivious to it as well. It really hurt her that she was moving on so fast. So maybe it _was_ time for her to move on as well. Maybe there wasn't any hope for them to get back together. Maybe it was time to let go. Her thoughts were interrupted by the blonde boy who stood in front of her.

"Brooke" Lucas called out "What's up?"

"What's up is that you stink. Go hit the shower, boy" she smiled

"Why must you be so mean to me? Come here give me a hug" he said as he held his arms out

Brooke rolled her eyes "Yeah, right." she laughed and Lucas pouted. "When you shower I'll give you a hug."

"Okay that's fair." he told her with a smile. "So how've you been since you know...the breakup..." he asked.

"It sucks, Luke. But I can't do anything about it now. She's moving on as I saw today." she told him and paused for a moment. "She and Peyton seem to be getting very close now and I know Peyton is crushing on her. She convinced Rachel to go to Nathan's party with her tomorrow night" Brooke said sadly looking on the floor. Lucas went and took a seat by her.

"I probably really shouldn't be telling you this..." he started and Brooke looked over at him.

"Tell me what?" she questioned.

"Rachel has been staying over a lot ever since you two broke up. Sometimes she just hates to be alone in her house plus her parents are out of town." he started saying and Brooke nodded as she listened "Anyway I want you to know that she's not over you, not at all. When she thinks I'm asleep she lays in bed crying. I know those tears have only to do with you." Brooke simply stared at him for a few moments.

"You haven't asked her about it?"

He shook his head. "If she wants to talk about it with me she will. Don't give up hope, okay." he told her sincerely "She'll come around."

Brooke looked at him with a small smile. "Thank you" she said. He smiled back and then hugged her but she quickly pulled away. "Gross, Luke. You're all sweaty and smelly" she laughed and he chuckled.

He got up from where he was sitting and looked at the smiling brunette who sat before him. "You should start smiling more it suits you. I'll see you later, Davis" he told her and started to walk away.

After hearing what Lucas told her she felt a little better. There was still a chance that Rachel could take her back. Brooke believed now that Rachel was still completely in love with her. She decided that she would try and talk to her at Nathan's party. If she could get her alone in one of the rooms and just pour her heart out. Brooke grabbed her bag and walked out of that gym in a much better mood. She was determined to get Rachel back.

_**Want nothing more than our futures to collide**_

_**Can tell this is going to be one of many disappointing nights**_

_**Traces of you are so minimal**_

The following night Peyton arrived at Rachel's house around nine. Rachel had told her the door was open and she could walk right in. She was amazed by how hot Rachel looked when she entered her room. Rachel was wearing a denim skirt, a tight red halter, and black Marc Jacobs heels.

"Wow" Peyton let out causing Rachel to quickly turn around. "You look so sexy, Rach"

Rachel felt herself blush. "Thanks." she said as smile crept on her face "You don't look so bad yourself"

Peyton smiled. "You ready to go girlie." Rachel nodded and walked over to Peyton who linked arms with her. "Time for you to have some fun."

Nathan Scott's house was so crowded with high schoolers mainly from Tree Hill High School but there were others that went to other high schools. Brooke walked through the house and headed for the kitchen and spotted Nathan.

"Nathan" she called out loudly and he looked over at her and smiled. "This party is crazy" she laughed.

As he got closer to her he hugged her and loudly said, "I know right. Plenty of booze to go around" he said as he motioned with his hands over to the counter that had bottles of every liquor you could think of. "So drink what ever you want and have fun okay! It's about time you came out to party again." he told her and then walked past her to go into the next room.

Brooke walked over to the counter and grabbed a plastic cup filled Svedka Vodka and mixed it with cranberry juice and then stirred it. She was going to need some alcohol in her system if she was actually going to get the courage to talk to Rachel.

Brooke walked around the house having meaningful conversations with people who were there. She was on her third Vodka with cranberry juice when she saw Rachel come into Nathan's house with Peyton. They were both smiling and seemed happy which washed Brooke over with jealousy. She quickly finished up the drink she had in her hand.

Brooke watched as Peyton took a hold of Rachel's hand and guided her over to the kitchen. The fact that she was touching Rachel at all made Brooke furious. She wanted it to be her so bad and it could've been if she hadn't screwed up so bad. As she was making her way over to the kitchen Lucas walked in front of her to stop her.

"Hold on there, Davis" Lucas said as he put an arm around her and walked over to the side. "I know what you're about to do and I really don't think you want to make a scene right now."

Brooke pushed his arm off of her. "Lucas." she slurred "I was just going to get another drink"

He smiled. "I don't believe you. If you want to talk to Rachel make sure she's alone and try to be sober"

"I am not drunk, Luke." she told him with a huge smile on her face.

"You want to talk to her right so let me help you" he told her and she nodded and he continued "Go up to Nathan's room and just wait there. To get anything else to drink okay you need to sober up and I'll be sure to have Rachel up there soon. How does that sound?" he asked her.

"You're actually going to help me get her back?" she asked surprised.

He looked at her with such caring eyes and the sweetest smile, "I am, Brooke." he said placing his hands on her shoulders "I know you love her and I know how sorry you are for everything. I understand you hurt Rachel bad but I know you two can work this out. So go up to Nate's room and wait there and I'll go get Rachel from the kitchen and I'll just tell her I need to talk to her in private." Brooke nodded and made her way up the stairs holding onto the railing, she was a little buzzed therefore not being able to walk without stumbling.

Lucas walked into the kitchen and scanned it for Rachel but couldn't spot her anywhere. He made his way over to the next room, the dining room, and didn't see her. He went outback and didn't spot her either. He wondered where the hell she was as he walked across the living the room.

Peyton and Rachel made it to the top of the stairs. They had taken 3 shots of Jose Cuervo downstairs in the kitchen and were now drinking a mix of Diet Coke with Grey Goose. Peyton slipped her hand in Rachel's and pulled her to the wall next to Nathan's room who's door was closed. She had Rachel against the wall and looked into her eyes.

"I like you" Peyton sighed not looking away.

Rachel stayed silent. She didn't know how to respond. She actually felt like she was dreaming and she wasn't actually hearing Peyton say these words to her.

"It's obvious isn't it. We've been spending so much time together and before you were with Brooke but you're not anymore. I've felt this way for awhile now you know and it's killing me inside. I just needed to say it" Peyton told her and she brushed her hand up and down Rachel's arm.

Rachel still wasn't sure how to react. She was starting to feel the effect of the alcohol and so many thoughts ran in her head now one of them including a particular brunette ex. It had been almost a month since they broke up and she hadn't really thought of getting together with anyone but she had been spending pretty much all her free time with Peyton. She liked Peyton she did. They got along so well. They had a lot in common. She was beautiful no doubt about it. She had killer legs too so that's a plus. She was sweet and really cared for her and had been there for her the past month. Maybe being with Peyton wouldn't be such a horrible a thing.

"Rachel" Peyton said in a soft tone as she placed her hand on the side of Rachel's face. "I'll treat you like you're deserved to be treated. I'm not Brooke okay. I promise I won't ever hurt you" she said and Rachel still didn't say anything. Peyton closed her eyes and started to move closer to Rachel.

Rachel heart began to beat faster as she saw Peyton inch closer to her and then she closed her eyes. This was it. This was going to be when they first kissed. Rachel felt Peyton's lips on hers. The kiss was slow, soft, and tender. Rachel slipped her hands around Peyton's waist and pulled her closer. Her kiss was different from Brooke's but it wasn't a bad thing. It was definitely different but not bad. Peyton brought her other hand up to the other side of Rachel's face and the kiss continued for a few moments longer. Peyton was the one to pull away first and her eyes remained closed. Rachel opened her eyes to see the blonde who stood in front of her who was smiling and then saw her eyes open.

"That was..." Peyton started

"Amazing?" Rachel interjected.

"Yeah pretty much" she replied.

"Wanna do it again?" Rachel asked with a kinked eyebrow and a smile and Peyton nodded.

Rachel pulled her closer again and their lips crashed into each others. Peyton ran hands up and down Rachel's arm and then as they continued to kiss Peyton pulled her over closer to the door and fumbled to get it open and when she finally did they entered Nathan's room as they still had no pulled away. They were giggling as they made there way in and closed the door. When they pulled away for a moment to locate the bed they saw a very heartbroken Brooke stand a few feet away from them. Both Rachel and Peyton let go of each other and Peyton looked away from Brooke. Rachel saw that Brooke was on the verge of tears. Sure she was still pissed at her but she never wanted Brooke to actually see her making out with someone else. Neither of the girls knew what to say. That moment just felt so awkward.

_**Day time is no longer the hours spent**_

_**Lit by sunlight rather the hours to obsesses**_

_**And the night is far worse**_

_**'Cause I know you're alone with her**_

_**And thoughts of us have been deserted**_

"I think I'll just leave you two alone." Brooke stated and started to make her way towards the door.

As she past the two girls standing Rachel spoke. "Brooke wait." she said turning around to look towards the door but the brunette didn't look back. Rachel looked at Peyton hoping she'd understand if she went after Brooke.

"Go." Peyton said with out any emotion.

"Are you sure? I just need to explain to her..."

"I understand just go. Stop by my house later or call me tomorrow or something." Peyton told her and Rachel nodded. She began to walk towards the door but turned back to Peyton and walked back over to her and kissed her softly on the lips. Pulling away she smiled and then walked out of the room.

Brooke was at the bottom of the stairs and Rachel was coming down them fairly quickly. "Brooke!" Rachel called out hoping she'd stop for her but she didn't

Lucas spotted a distraught Brooke rushing to the door. "Brooke!" he called out. "Brooke wait up" he went after her. Brooke went out the front door and Lucas was shortly behind her. "I couldn't find her, Brooke. Why are you in such a hurry to get out of here."

"Brooke, please wait!" they heard the red head say out loud causing Brooke and Lucas to turn around.

"It's okay, Lucas. She found me." she said as she looked at Rachel. Lucas was confused now.

"Brooke I didn't mean for you to see that." Rachel told her.

"See what?" Lucas asked confused.

"See her and Blondie making out." Brooke told him pissed off now "How can you do this?" she looked at Rachel now. "You cry at night and I know it's because you miss me." Lucas shot Brooke a look.

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"Lucas told me that you cry yourself to sleep some nights." she told Rachel who now shot Lucas a look. "I know you miss me just as much as I miss you and we can make it work."

"Maybe I should go?" Lucas suggested.

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea" Rachel told him angrily. He walked back into the party. Rachel looked at Brooke. "Brooke look of course I miss you. You were the biggest part of my life and now you're not. But just because I miss you doesn't mean I'm going to get back together with you just to set myself up to get my heart broken again."

Brooke was frustrated now. "Damn it Rachel. I'm not going to hurt you again! How many times do I have to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did. If I could take it back I would."

"I just can't forget what you did, Brooke. It's not easy okay. You hurt me so bad and I'm actually getting to a place now where I can enjoy life and _Peyton_ helped me along the way. We've grown really close and I think now we're just going to see what happens. I like her a lot Brooke"

Those words stung Brooke's heart. How could she just tell her that to her face knowing how she feels about her. "Are you trying to hurt me more? Thanks a lot Rachel." Brooke shook her head. "You still love me and you know it. You're just rebounding with Peyton"

"I'm not rebounding, Brooke."

"You can honestly say you're 100 percent over me?" Brooke questioned her.

Rachel stayed silent and looked away from Brooke.

"See you're not over me and going out with Peyton is just going to make things worse for you. And it's not fair to her either."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Brooke. You don't know anything about love. You actually kind suck at it so just mind you're own business now. I wish we could get along at least try to be friends or anything but you're attitude is just unbearable."

"Rachel..." she said in a soft tone. "Don't say that. You can't say that after all the good times we had. I know what love is and love is what I found with you and I'm not going to give up so easily like you have. I'm still in love with you Rachel and I always will be. You know that. I don't understand why you can't just give us another chance."

"I just can't Brooke!" Rachel ran her hand through her hair "I can't get that fucking image of you and Chris in bed together. I can't get forget all the bruises you left on my body! I can't forget about all the times you slapped me and all the times you called me a bitch! I just can't forget it Brooke. What you did to me just about ruined me but now I've found Peyton. Someone who is going to treat me like I deserve to be treated..."

Brooke was on the verge of tears again as she placed her hand over her mouth.

"You don't even know what to say..." Rachel said.

"If I could take it all back I would. I would have never hurt you like I did."

"You should of thought of not hurting me when we were together okay. It happened over and over again and you never changed." Rachel said and then started speaking again in a soft voice "Maybe we just weren't meant to be..."

_**It'll never be the same**_

_**It'll never be the same again**_

_**It'll never be the same again**_

Brooke looked at her in shock. "I can't believe you, Rachel. You know what fine. Keep lying to yourself about how you really feel about me and go live a happy life with your precious Peyton!" she yelled at her and then stormed off to her car. Rachel had tears sliding down her cheeks now as she watched Brooke walk away. It hurt her to see Brooke like this but it was the truth. She hurt her too much and she just didn't want to get hurt again. Yeah she might miss her and might love her but Peyton was there for her now. She was going to start out new and fresh. She wasn't in the mood to go back to the party so she got in her car and drove away.

Brooke pulled up into her driveway, put the car in park, and just sat there still. She wasn't crying. All she did was sit there not moving an inch. She felt numb even. _We just weren't meant to be_ kept repeating in her head. She really couldn't believe Rachel said that. Her thoughts were interrupted by her next door neighbor tapping on the window of the passenger door. She looked over at him and smiled slightly. It has been nearly a month since she'd seen him.

She got out of her car and he walked around it over to her.

"You okay Brooke?" he asked sincerely

She seemed a bit uncomfortable. They had not spoken in so long she didn't know how to act around him anymore. "Don't you think this is a little weird."

"You look sad Brooke. We've been friends for years. I wanna be here for you. I miss hanging out with" he began saying.

"One thing at a time, Chris" she let out a small laugh

"What I'm trying to say is that what happened a few weeks ago shouldn't ruin our friendship. I really do miss you Brooke. I hate that we don't talk anymore"

"I know Chris, me too" she said sadly.

"Something happen tonight?"

"Yeah, actually. A fight with Rachel. I haven't talked to her in 3 weeks and tonight at Nathan's she comes into the room I was in and she's making out with Peyton. And then we had this huge fight outside and it just really sucked. She said we weren't meant to be..." Brooke said beginning cry as she moved closer to Chris. She buried her head into his chest and he held her tight.

"I'm going to be here for you now, okay. Don't you worry." Chris said sincerely as he continued to hold her.

_**Time is few and far between**_

_**There is Solomon else who needs**_

_**There is someone else who needs your attention**_

_**But I'm willing to wait**_

_**I'm willing to wait **_

**Thanks for reviewing, melovedk, spashley20, angel0wonder, Lena, and Venera22. **

**Okay so how great was it to have BR in Tuesdays episode. I was so happy Rachel was back and their last scene was great! Anyway hopefully you keep reading and reviewing. **


	9. Mine Again

**Chapter 9**

**Mine Again**

_**There's a place I use to go **_

_**There's a world I use to know**_

"What the hell Lucas!" Rachel yelled as she barged into her best friend's bedroom. She couldn't believe that he had told Brooke about her crying those nights she stayed over at his house. Rachel wished he could've just confronted her about it and not have told Brooke. She was his best friend she didn't know why he did it. 

Lucas looked up from his computer and saw a very pissed off red head standing by the doorway. He gave her a weak smile. "Rachel I was -"

"How could you do that to me?" She questioned him not breaking eye contact. "Why didn't you talk to me about it? Damn it Lucas! I'm suppose to be your best friend right and all of sudden you're getting closer to Brooke. What's that about?"

"I was trying to help." he said as his head hung down staring at the floor.

"Help? Luke, what in the hell are you talking about? You know how I feel about Brooke now okay so don't try and become Mr. Cupid and mend this relationship that should have never happened."

"How can you say that?" he said looking at her in disbelief. "You honestly think you and Brooke should have _never_ happened. Brooke made a huge mistake that she regrets it. She still loves you, Rach. And I know you still love her too so can't you just forgive her."

"No, Lucas, I can't."

"And what the hell you and Peyton? I thought you two were just friends." 

Rachel finally looked away from him. "I like Peyton. I do. She's really good for me." 

"You're not over Brooke, though. I don't think that's fair to Peyton."

"I _am_ over Brooke. You don't know what you're talking about. I've been spending so much time with Peyton and we click more than I ever did with Brooke. We have more in common and she'll treat me better."

"Just because you have more in common doesn't mean shit, Rachel." he scoffed "Peyton will never get you like Brooke does."

Rachel shook her head. "You know nothing about my relationship with Brooke. You were an outsider okay. You were not there every time she-" Rachel was about to say about how Brooke hit her but she stopped herself. She didn't want to turn one argument into an even bigger argument. "You just weren't there Lucas. You don't know everything." 

Lucas had a confused expression. "What are you talking about? I might have not been part of you're relationship but I sure as hell can tell, as an outsider, how much you two love each other. The way you acted around each other and the looks you gave each other when one of you wasn't looking. It was love. It _is_ love."

"Why do you even talk to Brooke? You weren't friends while I was with her why now? You never told me you talked to her still. Not something you should keep from me don't you think" Rachel crossed her arms.

"I just feel bad for her okay. She really is hurting and you just don't seem to care anymore. I know you and I know that you're hiding you're feelings and it's not healthy just so you know." 

Rachel ran her hand through her hair. It was getting really difficult talking to Lucas at that moment. "Lucas, will you just stop it. Brooke and I are over. Can you understand that? I love you for trying to help and all but just don't and mind your own business. I can handle my own relationships perfectly fine." She saw a look of hurt appear on Lucas' face. She didn't mean for it to come out so harsh. 

Lucas slammed his laptop and got up from his chair. "If that's what you want fine." he said in a serious tone. "But you know deep down in you're heart who you belong with." He said and Rachel didn't say a word. She watched as he turned away from her and started walking to his drawer. He looked back at where she was standing. "You can go now." he sad and looked away from her. 

She walked out of his room and hated it because they were no on the best terms now. Her and Lucas rarely had a fight and if they did they'd make up minutes later. This time it was different though. It dealt more with their feelings and it dealt with relationships and that was always messy. Rachel went to the only place she could at that moment. 

"Hey sexy miss me much?" Rachel said with a smile on her face as she walked into the blonde's bedroom. Peyton smiled back. "What am I saying of course you missed me" Rachel said winking at her. 

"Hey" Peyton said in a soft tone. "How did everything go?" 

Rachel sighed and sat next to Peyton on her bed. "Not so great. Brooke was so furious with me and then I had a fight with Lucas. This night just really turned out bad."

"I'm sorry Rachel." she said placing her hand on top of Rachel's causing Rachel to look at her. 

"Except for what happened with you of course. That was great." Rachel told her and a grin crept onto Peyton's face. 

"Yeah that was pretty great wasn't it." their was a short moment of silence "So what does that mean for us now? I know you sort of just broke up with Brooke. I mean do you still have feelings for her?" 

"It's been like a month, Peyton. I've spent all my time with you and I slowly started feeling less for Brooke, okay." she lied "And I just want you now. I do. When you kissed me tonight it felt all kinds of good. You got me so hot and bothered" Rachel laughed. 

"Okay you are so turning me on right now." Peyton replied as she pointed at Rachel.

"That's what I was hoping for." she said with a smirk. "How about you make me feel that way again?"

"I think that's a good idea" she whispered huskily and began to lean towards Rachel. 

Peyton placed her lips on Rachel and they kissed slowly. Rachel parted her lips and welcomed Peyton's tongue. Rachel got in a more comfortable position on the bed and Peyton straddled her. Their hands roamed each others bodies. Rachel bit Peyton's lip lightly and Peyton let out a small moan. Rachel smiled. Peyton started to kiss down to Rachel's neck and it was now Rachel's turn to moan. They kissed a lot that night but it didn't go further than that. It was also the first night that Rachel stayed over at Peyton's. 

_**There was a light and it was you**_

_**every word I say is true, I say**_

Brooke sat on the floor of her room with the box of pictures and letters from Rachel. She was still upset about the night's earlier events. She had told Chris about it and he told her that he was sorry and that if she needed anything at all she'd be there for him. She just told him that she wanted to be alone for the night but that she would call him later. She was glad to have Chris back in her life. She hoped that his feelings for her were gone. She just didn't feel the same way about him and she didn't want things to get awkward. And of course she wasn't going to ask him so all she could do was hope.

She began reading a letter from Rachel that she gave to her after skipping school one day to spend it at Brooke's beach house. 

_Oh Brooke the things I do for you. I can't believe I actually skipped school on Friday to go to your beach house the whole weekend. You know I had two tests that day we could have easily gone over three right after school ended. But you are just too cute to resist and it was totally worth it. This weekend was truly amazing Brooke and I won't ever forget it. Our first weekend getaway! Hahaha yeah that sounded lame...But anyway we have to do it again! Spending so much time with you and waking up next to you...I couldn't ask for anything more. All I want in my life is you, Brooke. That won't ever change. I want you to know that. My feelings for you won't ever change. You'll always be in my heart. I love you._

_xoxo Rachel _

A tear fell down Brooke's cheek. Those last few lines felt like lies now. She was fighting for Rachel but she didn't seem to care anymore though deep down inside Brooke knew Rachel still loved her. She remembered the weekend they had skipped school and spent the whole weekend at her beach house just being together; tanning at the beach and watching movies all day. She wished she could go back to that weekend when everything seemed perfect. When nothing could go wrong between them. That was one of the best weekends Brooke ever had. Brooke wanted to yell at Rachel so bad now. She wanted to show her all these letters that she had written to her in the past. She wanted her to remember what she wrote and remember all the great times they had. They had love...they still do. Brooke believed it and she wanted Rachel to believe so bad. Her thoughts were interrupted when her cell phone vibrated meaning she had a new text message. She flipped her phone open. 

_Brooke, I hope you're okay. I'm sorry things didn't work out tonight. Let me know if you need anything. _

_Lucas_

Brooke started to text him back. 

_Thanks Lucas. Rachel is being so difficult about this and I don't know what I can do anymore. For tonight though I just want to be alone. Thanks for everything Luke._

_Brooke_

Brooke really did appreciate Lucas these past month. They really only talked at school but when they did talk he was really sweet. He always made sure she wasn't feeling down just like Nathan made sure as well. She was glad that she wasn't completely alone through this tough time and now things were finally better with Chris. The only thing missing in her life was Rachel. 

_**Everyday I will wait**_

_**'til you're mine again **_

Peyton slowly opened her eyes and looked over to the space next to her and frowned when she didn't see Rachel next to her. Thoughts began racing through her mind that maybe Rachel freaked and left. She sat up from her bed. She couldn't believe she actually thought Rachel was over Brooke. She knew the only reason Rachel wasn't there was because Rachel realized her feelings were really for Brooke and had to get out of there. Moments later though Rachel happily entered Peyton's room causing her to furrow her eyebrows but still smile. 

"Well it's about time Sawyer. You sleep like a log." Rachel said. 

"Shut up" Peyton replied with a small laugh and it was silent for a few moments. "When I woke up and I didn't see you I thought..." Peyton started to trail off

"Hey..." Rachel said in a soft tone as she sat down next to Peyton taking her hand. "I told you last night I want to be with you, okay. Me and Brooke are the past. You're my future now." Rachel gave her a reassuring smile. 

"I know. I know. It's just I know the way you two felt about each other...and I just got a little scared that's all." 

"Well don't get scared anymore. I'm here with you now and I will be from now on." 

"It's great to hear you say that you know." Peyton told her. 

"Now get your skinny ass in the bathroom and get ready. I'm going to go home and get ready as well and then I'll be back. We can go out and do something." Peyton smiled and nodded getting off the bed and Rachel watched as the blonde walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her. 

Rachel was happy with Peyton now. Last night was great. Peyton was great. She could tell that Peyton really cared about her and that's what Rachel always wanted. Yet, there was a part of her that couldn't forget Brooke. She felt like she was betraying her in some way or another. She didn't want to love her anymore and she was trying so hard to bury those feelings but she knew that deep deep down in her heart that she still loved Brooke with all her heart. She hadn't stopped loving her less at all. It had been a month since they'd been broken up and she still couldn't move on which she hated. She wanted to forget Brooke. She wanted to let go of her completely and just move on with her life. Move on with Peyton. 

Peyton was the complete opposite of Brooke. It was the person Rachel would be better off with. She had spent so much time with Peyton since the break up with Brooke that they were bound to get together. They had so much more in common than she ever had with Brooke. But no matter how much she might have in common with Peyton or how much they clicked it didn't erase the two in half years Rachel had been with Brooke for. 

She quickly rid those thoughts and left Peyton's room. She was going to force herself to forget Brooke and she was going to make sure she was happy with Peyton. She went home to get ready and come back to Peyton's to spend the day together.

Brooke awoke that morning from the floor. She fell asleep looking at old pictures of her and Rachel. She knew it would be better if she just put those letters and pictures away and not cause herself so much misery but she couldn't help it. She wanted to be with Rachel so bad. 

She pushed away the box got up and got ready to go out for a jog. She hoped that a run could help her clear her mind for a bit. She laced her tennis shoes and then grabbed her Ipod. She walked out the door and began to jog down the block. It was 20 minutes into her run when she noticed a blonde and redhead hand in hand walking together. It caused Brooke to stop and just stare on. Her heart dropped as she saw the blonde feed the redhead ice cream. They were laughing and seemed happy. Brooke wanted nothing more than to be Peyton at that moment. To be happy next to Rachel again. She would do anything. _So much for clearing my head _she thought to herself. Neither Rachel nor Peyton saw Brooke watching them. After looking on a few more seconds Brooke quickly turned around and ran back to her house. 

_**I will die everyday**_

_**'till you're mine again**_

_**there's no words to explain**_

_**no beginning and no end **_

As she jogged up her driveway Chris was coming out of his house. He saw her and called out her name as he walked over to her. 

Brooke was panting "Hey Keller." she said with a smile. 

"You feeling better?" he asked concerned. 

"No not really but there's not much I can do right now is there." she let out. 

"I guess not. You can try talking to her again" he suggested. 

"Yeah, so she can just deny everything again. No thanks. I just hope she can realize soon that we're meant for each other. I saw her with Peyton not to long ago" Brooke rolled her eyes.

"I"m sorry, Brooke." 

She shrugged. "I hate that they seem so happy. I know that Rachel still loves me though. She's just burying her feelings for me. So, like I said I hope she realizes soon who she's really suppose to be with it because the longer she stays with Peyton the worse it's going to be for her. Peyton is going to be crushed." 

"Are you sure Rachel still has feelings for you though? Do you think she's the kind of person to get into one relationship while still having feelings for someone else?" 

"Obviously I do." 

"Maybe she's moving on though something you should probably be doing as well. You can't hold onto her forever you know. You'll make yourself miserable." 

"Chris, she loves me okay. And I don't care what anyone says. I know how she feels even if she won't admit it." 

"If you say so...but Chris Keller thinks differently..." he said.

"Brooke thinks Chris Keller should keep his thoughts to himself and run along to work now." Brooke said with a smile. 

He smiled back. "Okay okay I'll see you later. And I'd hug you right now but you're all smelly and sweaty so I think I'll pass. See you later Davis." he told her and walked off. She waved at him and watched him go with a smile. 

_**It's just how it runs between us**_

_**It's the ocean underneath us**_

_**It's the picture that won't fade away**_

The following Monday was horrible for Brooke at least the morning was. Peyton and Rachel were attached at the hip. It was torture for Brooke. As she gathered her books from her locker. She glanced over to see Peyton and Rachel who were further down the hallway. They were hugging meaning they were probably going different class. Brooke saw Rachel smiling as she hugged Peyton but then she locked eyes with Rachel and Rachel's smile fell. She saw how broken Brooke felt so looked away form Brooke and quickly pulled away from Peyton and forced a smile. Peyton walked off to class and Brooke went back to getting books from her locker. Brooke felt like she was in hell. 

Fourth period, English, quickly arrived. Rachel still sat as far as she could form Brooke who was now use to it. She would look over at Rachel a few times to see if she could get her attention but never did. Brooke closed her eyes and lay her head on her desk for the rest of the class period. English was so boring to her. She didn't know why she needed to learn about poems. 

"Now I'd like to have someone read Pablo Neruda's poem, Clenched Soul, out loud please. Any volunteers?" the teacher said 35 minutes into class after telling Pablo Neruda's life story. He saw that no one raised their hand so he looked around to choose someone. His eyes fell on Brooke in the back of the room who was sleeping. "Miss Davis." he called out but didn't get response. "Miss Davis" he said in a louder tone.

"Brooke" Bevin said in a loud whisper. But she didn't get a response either. Classmates including Rachel started to turn around to look at Brooke. "Brooke" she said in a louder whisper. 

"Bevin will you please wake Miss Davis up." he told her. 

"Yes sir." she replied and then nudged Brooke.

"What!" Brooke yelled out looking at Bevin who pointed at the teacher. Brooke looked at the front of the classroom where her teacher stood. "Oh." she said with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry." The class all let out small laughs. 

"Try not to fall asleep in my class again, Miss Davis. Now can do me a favor and read Neruda's poem 'Clenched Soul'" 

Brooke looked down at her desk and didn't have her book open. "Um..."

"Page 91, Miss Davis." he told her in an annoyed tone now. She hated the way he called her Miss Davis. 

"Right." she said and quickly turned the pages until she reached to 91. "Okay. Clenched Soul by Pablo Neruda." She said and then started to read out loud the poem out loud. 

"_We have lost even this twilight._

_No one saw us this evening hand in hand_

_While the blue night dropped on the world._

_I have seen from my window_

_the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops._

_Sometimes a piece of sun_

_burned like a coin in my hand._

_I remembered you with my soul clenched _

_in that sadness of mine that you know._

_Who were you then?_

_Who else was there?_

_Saying what?_

_Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly_

_when I am sad and you are far away?_

_The book fell that always closed at twilight_

_and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet. _

_Always, always you recede through the evenings_

_toward the twilight erasing statutes._"

As soon as she finished reading the last line of the poem, Brooke felt like she actually knew what it meant. There was something about it that really made her understand. 

"Well done Miss Davis" he said to her. She rolled her eyes. Why did he have to keep calling her Miss Davis. Couldn't he just call her Brooke. "Now I am going to pair you up and the two of you will have a week to write a three page paper on what you think the meaning of this poem is. You papers will be due Monday the minute you walk into class. Do not slack off."

Brooke sighed to herself. She hated writing papers. 

The teacher started pairing up people. And Brooke listened for her name to be called out. "Miss Davis you will be paired up with..." he said as he looked at the sheet of paper he held in front of him with the names of students. "Rachel Gatina." 

When Brooke heard Rachel's name she perked up. She smiled and looked over at Rachel had her face buried in her hands. Brooke's smile disappeared but she stayed looking at Rachel who shortly after looked back at Brooke. Brooke gave her a weak smile and Rachel forced one. 

When the bell rang Brooke quickly gathered her things and walked over to Rachel's desk.

"So when do you want to get together to work on this stupid paper?" Brooke asked her 

Rachel still sat at her desk not looking up at Brooke. "I guess we can get together Saturday and work on it all day. We have cheerleading after school all week and I have other work to do as well. It shouldn't be to hard." 

"Okay sounds good!" Brooke said with a smile. 

"Yeah..." Rachel said as she got up from her seat. "See you later, Brooke" she said and walked past her. 

Brooke saw this as the perfect opportunity to win Rachel back. Brooke was going to make sure to remind Rachel about all the great times they had together especially that first weekend they spent the whole weekend together at her beach house and she was going to have a whole day to do all she could to make Rachel realize she should be with her and not Peyton. 

_**Everyday I will wait**_

_**'til you're mine again**_

_**brings me close to the day **_

_**when you're mine again**_

_**You'll be mine again**_

**Sorry this one took longer to post than the others. Didn't really have time to write. **

**Thanks to Farah A, spashley20, Lena, & angel0wonder for reviewing the last chapter. Next chapter is going to be pure flashback so we won't see Brooke and Rachel working on the paper together until the chapter after that one. Thanks for reading and please review. Have a lovely day. **


	10. Down to Sea

**Down to Sea**

**Chapter 10**

_**Drive with me **_

_**do the things you won't believe**_

About 2 Years Ago

It was nearly seven thirty in the morning on a Friday and Rachel was just about ready for school when she heard her phone ring. She walked over to her night stand where the phone was and saw it was Brooke. She smiled and answered.

"Hey Brooke," Rachel said "You on your way?"

"Yes I am but we're not going to school" Brooke replied.

"What?" Rachel asked confused. "What do you mean we're not going to school? What are you up to now Brooke..."

"Nothing. Listen I'll be there in five minutes. We're going to my beach house for the weekend. It's going to be so much fun way better than going to school today."

"Brooke, I have two tests today and I don't want to have to make them up next week."

"Rachel...pleaseeee" Brooke begged in a cute way. "You know you want to."

"Of course I want to but I don't know maybe it's not a good idea."

"Rachel, don't worry everything is going to be perfectly fine. I promise."

"What if the school calls?"

"The school never calls home trust me I know and we just need to write a note and give it to the front office Monday morning. It's not that hard to forge a signature."

Rachel sighed "Oh the things I do for you"

Rachel could feel Brooke smiling on the other end of the phone. "Yay. Rachel we're going to have so much fun this weekend. Best weekend of your life. I'll see you soon, sexy" Brooke hung up before Rachel could say anything. Rachel smiled and shook her head as she started gathering her things to pack.

Not much later Rachel heard to honks coming from outside her house. She made her way out the door and there she was, her girlfriend, Brooke Davis, in her baby blue beetle that currently had the top down. "Come on girlie! Time to have some fun!" Brooke pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head as she yelled out to Rachel. Rachel made her way down her front yard and into Brooke's car. Brooke leaned over and kissed Rachel softly on the kiss. "I'm glad you decided to come." she told her and then started to drive away.

_**Drive with me**_

_**past the city and down to sea**_

"Brooke, you know we could've just left after school since we're staying the whole weekend."

"Oh Rach, it's more fun this way though"

"We better not get in trouble or I swear I'll-" Rachel started saying in a not very serious tone.

"Or you'll what?" Brooke questioned her with a smile "You love me too much to do anything bad to me. You'll probably bitch at me for a few seconds and then I'll just start distracting you with my cuteness and then we'll just start kissing and you'll start ripping my clothes off and we'll have hot sex"

"Brooke!"

"What?!" she asked smiling.

Rachel sighed "Nothing..."

"Look Rachel, I know you're just as bad as me you just don't show it as much as I do. Stop worrying because I promise nothing will go wrong."

"Okay, okay I'll stop. Let's have some fun then" Rachel said and placed her hand on top of Brooke's thigh.

Shortly after they arrived at Brooke's beach house. It was a two story large house. It was well decorated and very clean. The back lead straight to the beach which was very convenient. Brooke showed Rachel to the master bedroom upstairs which is where they'd both be staying.

"Damn Brookie you have a nice place here." Rachel said scanning the room and placing her bag on top of the king size bed.

"Yeah my parent's put a lot of money into this house and they're never even here I figured at least I could use it" she explained and saw Rachel nod "We have a fully stocked mini bar downstairs so get changed into your bikinis so we can start having some fun" Brooke said as she removed her tank top and skirt to reveal a black bikini.

"Very sexy" Rachel stared at her with a smile. "Now go on...keep undressing." she was now smirking.

"Rachel, you bad girl. It's no fun if I'm naked and you're fully dressed." Brooke told her.

"So come help me get undressed then..."

"You are being so naughty today" Brooke said in a seductive tone as she took a few steps toward Rachel. She tugged at the hem of Rachel's shirt and then pulled it off over Rachel's head and through it on the floor. Brooke grazed her hand up and down Rachel's bare side. She then unbuttoned her jeans and Brooke slowly took them off Rachel. Rachel placed her hands on Brooke's waist and pulled her close they kissed passionately . They fell back on the bed and Brooke was on top of Rachel. Rachel pulled the string on Brooke's bikini top and it fell off.

It was the first time they had sex and it couldn't have been better. They both fit perfectly against each other's bodies. Neither of them wished to be anywhere else but there. Brooke looked over at Rachel and smiled. Rachel looked at Brooke and smiled back. She brushed a lock of Brooke's hair away from her face and placed a kiss softly on her lips. "I love you, Rachel. You know that right"

Rachel placed a kiss back on Brooke. "I love you too. I always will be Brooke no matter what. You're my number one. You're my everything. You're my Brooke." A smile crept on Brooke's face.

They laid there for minutes in complete silence with there arms wrapped around each other but I the silence wasn't an awkward one. They felt so comfortable with each other. Neither wanted to be anywhere else. Rachel was so happy she gave in and decided to skip school because what she just experienced with Brooke was beyond amazing.

"Want to take a shower and then lay out for awhile it's such a beautiful day" Brooke suggested and Rachel nodded. Brooke climbed out of bed and made sure Rachel followed. They made their ways to the bathroom and Brooke started the shower and they both jumped in. They let warm water fall on them as they faced each other both with smiles plastered on their faces.

About thirty minutes later the got out of the shower put on their bikinis and made their way downstairs. Rachel waited by the back door as Brooke grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed towards her.

"Here's good" Brooke said as she placed her towel on the sand and Rachel did the same. The sun was shining the waves were crashing and they couldn't be happier. As they got sat down Brooke pulled out sun tan lotion and handed it to Rachel "Put some on my back?" she asked. Rachel gladly agreed.

Brooke's back was to Rachel as she squirt some of the lotion into her hand and started applying it to Brooke's back. "I'm glad I came Brooke"

Brooke grew a smile "I know you are"

"Brooke."

Brooke giggled a bit "I'm glad decided to come too. Way better than school don't you think"

"Much better." Rachel said as she finished with Brooke's back and handed her the bottle back.

"Want me to do you?" Brooke asked.

"You already did" Rachel smirked referring to them having sex earlier.

Brooke laughed "You know what I mean Rach"

"I know I know and yes please _do _me now."

Both girls continued to laugh and then Brooke applied lotion on Rachel. They opened their beer took a sip of it and then set it down next to them and laid on their backs on the towels taking in the sun. There was a calm and serene silence. The only thing they could here was the waves crashing and the seagulls that would fly by them. No ones needed to be spoken in those moments because they could say nothing and it wouldn't be that awkward silence.

Brooke placed her hand on top of Rachel's and then turned her head and opened her eyes but because the sun was shining so bright it caused her to squint. Rachel looked over at Brooke and saw her smiling and then furrowed her eyebrows "What? Why are you smiling?" she asked smiling but confused.

"I just love you that's all."

Rachel's smile softened "I love you too, Brooke."

"Come on!" Brooke said as she stood up and extended her hand to Rachel. Rachel got a hold of it and Brooke pulled her up. Brooke held her hand and started making her way to the water.

"What are you doing Brooke...?"

"What do you think? We're getting in the water" Brooke smirked

"You do know that water is pretty cold right."

"And...don't be such a chicken Rach. It'll feel nice." Brooke said and when Rachel finally looked defeated Brooke spoke again. "Good. We're going to run in okay because if we take baby steps it'll be worse. Ready..." she looked at Rachel and then back at the water "Set...Go!" And then both girls rushed into the water pretty far where they were about shoulder deep.

"Oh my God it's so cold Brooke!" Rachel exclaimed

"But feels so good!" Brooke said and then her eyes diverted down and began to bust out laughing.

"What?" Rachel asked confused and then looked down and noticed her bikini top had come untied "Oh God!" she exclaimed covering herself.

"Rachel," she said giggling "Why are you covering those nice and perky boobies of yours. It's not like I haven't seen them before" she said smirking

"I know that! But someone else might see!" she said turning her back to Brooke so she could tie the strings back.

Brooke scanned the area around her and there was no one around them. "Yeah, Rachel, there are so many people here that might see your beautiful boobies" she said sarcastically as she tied Rachel's bikini.

"Stop saying boobies. They're called breasts" Rachel told her

"Boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies" Brooke said repeatedly laughing

"You sure can be a pain in my ass, Davis" Rachel said shaking her head with a smile on her face.

Brooke grinned "Done"

"Better" Rachel said turning to face Brooke as the waves continued to come "No wonder I was feeling extra cold" she laughed.

Brooke smiled "You're too adorable you know that"

They stayed in the water for about ten minutes just feeling the waves crash against their bodies. Rachel had had enough of it and finally decided to get out and Brooke followed. They stayed outside to tan until the sun started to set and they then gathered their things and made their way back inside the house. Brooke put the towels in the laundry room and then threw their cans of beer away in the trash. Brooke took Rachel's hand and then made their way upstairs. They decided to go out for dinner so they put on some clothes and went out. It had truly been an amazing day for the both of them. Just the two of them alone not having to worry about a thing. When they returned from eating out that night they went straight upstairs to the bedroom and got ready for bed.

They got under the covers and faced each other. Brooke draped her hand over Rachel's waist. "Night" Brooke told her and Rachel replied the same and they slowly drifted off to sleep.

Rachel took a deep breath while stretching out in bed before opening her eyes. As she did she looked over to see a missing Brooke. Rachel sat up and scanned the room but didn't see her. Getting out of bed she went to the restroom and brushed her teeth.

She made her way downstairs and saw Brooke in the kitchen looking like she was having a bit of trouble making breakfast. "You're too adorable Davis" Rachel said as she reached the bottom of the stairs and walked over to Brooke.

Brooke sighed and smiled "I tried to make you this big breakfast but I've never cooked before so I don't know what I was thinking" she scanned the mess of the kitchen; pancake batter was everywhere on the stove and the toast was burnt next to the toaster. Her eyes then made her way to the breakfast table. "So I decided we could just have cereal." Brooke laughed. Their were two bowls on the table along with milk and a box of cereal.

Rachel placed a soft kiss on Brooke's lips. "It's the thought that counts" she smiled.

The whole day was pretty much spent the same exact way as the day before. They had breakfast then went out to tan. Brooke forced Rachel to get back in the water and it didn't take long for Rachel to get out. They tanned a little more then went back inside and made love. Then they showered and got dressed to go out for dinner at night.

Returning back to the beach house they repeated what they did the night before to get ready for bed. Then they crawled under the covers and Brooke spoke. "This was a good weekend"

"Yes it was. I wish we could stay here forever. Just you and me blocking out the rest of the world"

"Wouldn't that be perfect" Brooke replied

Rachel moved closer to Brooke and rested her head on her shoulder "I don't want this to ever end...you know us"

"It won't. I promise. I won't ever let it end. You're mine forever" Brooke smiled making eye contact with Rachel who was too smiling.

Rachel leaned up and kissed Brooke lightly on the lips "I love you. You're my everything. You're my Brooke" Rachel grazed her hand on Brooke's neck then to her shoulder and then made it over her heart that was beating rapidly.

"I love you too, Rach" and with that said they fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning the girls woke up got ready and dressed and gathered all their things and packed it all up. Rachel decided they should go out for breakfast to avoid Brooke from trying to make breakfast again.

They grabbed their bags and made their way downstairs. Brooke tidied up a few things in the kitchen and then they both headed out the front door. They put their stuff away in the drunk of her baby blue Beetle and got in.

"Before we go back to the real world..." Brooke started saying and then began digging in her purse and pulled out a camera "let's take a picture so we can remember this weekend always" she said smiling.

Rachel moved her head close to Brooke's and Brooke extended her arm that held the camera.

"1, 2, and 3" Brooke said and then clicked the button and the camera flashed.

Brooke brought her arm close to her and then looked at the picture and smiled. She showed it to Rachel who then smiled as well "It's perfect"

_**Crushing Dreams**_

_**Leave me be, I cannot sleep**_

**Present Day**

Rachel stood in her room by her desk holding a picture in her hand of her and Brooke taken the time they had stayed at Brooke's beach house for the first time. She smiled as she remembered how much fun they had. She wished things were still so simple like they were then. She wished they had never had so many problems that they could've worked things out. So much had changed since then. She was with Peyton now and she was happy with her but a part of her still didn't feel complete and all she could do was ignore the feeling.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly opened a drawer in her desk and placed the photo at the bottom of a bunch of school papers and then made her way downstairs. She opened the door and in front of her stood Brooke with a weak smile.

"Hey" she said softly "I thought I'd ring the doorbell I don't think you want me just barging into your house like I use to" she attempted a laugh

"Yeah..." Rachel said not really showing any emotion.

"So you going to invite me in to start on that paper or just have me stand out here all day" Brooke questioned with a soft smile.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Come in." Rachel said allowing Brooke to brush pass her their arms slightly grazing which sent both girls' bodies to be sent in a fit of electric emotions. Rachel closed the door behind her. "We can work on it in my room." she said as she started her way up and Brooke following behind her.

_**Oh, it's pain**_

_**It's ingrained in me**_

_**Oh, soothe my pain**_

_**It's ingrained in me**_

**Do you hate me? I know it's been nearly a month since I've updated but I had a terrible case of writer's block. I guess angst is just easier for me to write LOL. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I want to thank Denise being the beta for this chapter. She is seriously pretty awesome. I owe her an ice cream! **

**If you check out my profile you can see the banner I have for this story I posted a link there and also the link to the promo video is there as well. **

**And thanks to all my reviewers on the last chapter spashley20, melovedk, Lena – my bitch, Farah A, Denise, and my soul mate Ashes!!**


	11. Underneath

**Chapter 11**

**Underneath **

**There is no difference **

**In what we're doing in here**

**That doesn't show up as big as it does out there**

Brooke slowly walked into Rachel's room. It was an odd feeling for her now. She hadn't been in there in about a month and not a thing had changed other than photos of her that use to be out on display had no disappeared.

Rachel made her way to her desk and sat down and Brooke followed sitting down on the extra chair that was there. Rachel started up her computer and fidgeted a little. There was an uncomfortable silence that washed over them. It was weird how things changed; one day you're inseparable the next you don't even know how to act around each other.

Brooke wanted to say something to her. Anything at this point. No ones escaped her mouth though. At this moment she felt like the person in the poem, Clenched Soul. The first line described her so well. _We have lost even this twilight; _It was emotional loss.

Rachel was feeling no different. She hated the effect Brooke had on her. She had a mixture of emotions towards her right now. She wanted to pull her into a hug and kiss her but then again she wanted her to just disappear. Stay out of her life. She had so many good memories with her and thinking about them made a smile appear.

Brooke looked over and saw this and furrowed her eyebrows and slightly smiled. "What are you smiling about?" she questioned her.

"Huh?" Rachel came back to reality and looked over at Brooke. "Oh nothing." she brushed it off and then opened up a word document on her computer and Brooke nodded. "So why don't we just read the poem again and then we can brainstorm"

"Okay. You want to read it?" she asked.

"Sure, what ever" Rachel said and then pulled out the poem.

_We have lost even this twilight_

_No one saw us this evening hand in hand_

_While the blue night dropped on the world._

_I have seen from my window the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops_

_Sometimes a piece of sun_

_Burned like a coin in my hand_

_I remembered you with my soul clenched_

_in the sadness of mine that you know_

_Who were you then?_

_Who else was there?_

_Saying what?_

_Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly _

_when I am sad and you are far away?_

_The book fell that always closed at twilight_

_and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet._

_Always, always you recede through the evenings_

_toward the twilight erasing statutes. _

"It's so sad" Brooke said with no emotion not looking at the red haired girl next to her when Rachel said the last word of the poem.

"You understand it?" Rachel asked half jokingly and Brooke glared at her. Rachel smiled "What? Oh come on, Brooke. For as long as I've known you poems were never your thing. School in general isn't your thing" Rachel laughed.

Brooke cracked a smile "True. But yes for your information I understand it. I'm not stupid you know. I just need to put effort and I'm fine."

"I know you're not."

"What I get from this poem is that this guy is so broken over a relationship and he's remembering key memories and doing his best to let them go. First line is about emotional loss; Twilight slowly drifts away and the relationship was drifting away and there's emotional loss. He has a clenched soul. Clenched meaning closed so..he's basically stuck in one place, not wanting to pull away from the relationship." Brooke continued her analyzing of the poem and Rachel listened intently "Pablo has a stanza of just questions and it feels like he's just guilt tripping his significant other. He's blaming that person for the ending of the relationship. The last couple lines of the poem, _you recede through the evenings toward the twilight erasing statues, _the relationship is like a statue. It's not changing anymore."

Rachel looked at her with eyebrows raised. She couldn't' believe all the insight that was coming from Brooke. It was like she was a completely different person that moment.

"What? Am I totally wrong? I am aren't I. I'm such an idiot" Brooke covered her face with her hands. Rachel hadn't said anything and only stared at her. She couldn't feel more stupid.

"No no no no" Rachel said repeatedly and let out a small laugh "I'm just impressed is all. Brooke you have got the poem down. Everything you said is right on and I totally agree with everything you said."

Brooke removed her hands from her face and looked at Rachel "Really?" she said with smile. "Thank God because the way you were looking at me I really thought I was so wrong with everything." Brooke chuckled.

"No not at all. This guy is like suffocating. He just can't let go of this person. It's like this person is burned into his soul. No matter what he does that person will always be a part of him and nothing will change that. He wants to do something about it but can't. He's like hopeless" Rachel looked over at Brooke and their eyes stayed locked.

**So why spend all our time undressing our bandages**

**When we've the ultimate key to the cause**

**right here all underneath**

Both girls couldn't help but feel that this poem was somewhat describing their relationship. The whole emotional loss and not wanting to let go. Rachel wanted to forget about Brooke she did but she couldn't. She thought if she said it out loud to Lucas and to Peyton too it could make it true but she knew that deep down she was lying to them and to herself too. After everything she felt that Brooke would only be the person she could ever see herself with in the future.

It wasn't unknown that Brooke still wasn't over Rachel. Rachel was her true love. But she felt that after really reading this poem she didn't want to end up like that. She didn't want to have a clenched soul. She knew she had to move on sooner or later. She tried again and again to get forgiveness but Rachel just wouldn't. She was with Peyton and now and Brooke knew that she should probably just let them be. She was going to try and let go of Rachel though she didn't have much hope that she actually could.

Brooke spoke first breaking eye contact "So yeah" she breathed out "looks like we're on the same page on this poem. I can write the first couple pages and then I can email it to you and you can finish it up"

Rachel looked down away from Brooke and nodded. "Yeah that's fine." They both started jotting down some notes about the poem so they wouldn't forget them.

As Brooke finished up she started gathering her things and stood from the seat. "So I guess I should get going."

Rachel stood as well with her notes in her hand and then handed them over to Brooke. She watched as Brooke made her way to the door. "Wait." Rachel said. She wasn't sure what she was doing. She was with Peyton now but right now she didn't want Brooke to leave. It was nice having her over and not fighting. It's not that she was thinking about cheating on Peyton but maybe she could start being friends with Brooke now.

Brooke turned around. "Yeah?" she asked. A part of her was hoping that Rachel would ask her to stay another part of her just wanted to leave. Spending time with Rachel and not fighting was amazing but the fact that she couldn't kiss her or even hold her hand was torture.

Rachel's heart was beating at a quick pace now. She had to say something now. She looked away from her for a few moments and looked back. "I just-" she now had a nervous smile on her face "I just wanted to say that I'm glad I got to spend time with you today" That's what she managed to say. It was a start. She knew in the end that asking her to stay probably wouldn't have been a good idea.

Brooke had a beaming smile. "Yeah me too" she said before turning back toward the door and walking out.

**How I've spun my wheels with carts before my horse**

**When shine on the outside springs from the root**

Brooke felt happy. For the first time in the longest time she was really truly feeling happy. She got home showered and got ready to go out. She was feeling good about herself again and she wanted to celebrate. It was nightfall and she made her way over to Chris' house. She was glad that they were talking again. Everything to start falling back into place.

As she entered she her the voice of a male that was not Chris Keller's. She made her way to the kitchen where she heard the voice come from. She saw Chris and this mystery guy having drinks and joking about something. She thought she knew all the people Chris knew but guess she was wrong.

"This you're boyfriend Keller?" Brooke asked smirking. Mystery boy and Chris turned to look at the brunette that stood against the wall.

"Brooke Davis." the mystery boy said with a smile.

"Graham!" she exclaimed. "Oh my God. I haven't seen you in years" she said as she hurried over to him and they embraced in a hug. "What are you doing here?"

Graham had light brown hair and green eyes. He was tall and pretty thin. He was very attractive. He was a friend of Chris'. She had known him since she was in middle school and had such a crush on him. But he moved away when she started high school and hadn't talked to him since.

His hands remained at her waist as he took in who stood before him. "Brooke, you're all grown up. You look beautiful." he said as he took a hold of her hands now.

"You don't look so bad either" she replied with a smile. "So are you going to answer my question? What are you doing here? Such a surprise. I never thought I 'd see you again."

"Ne w York was not for me. You know life with out Brooke Davis is just not good." he smiled at her.

"Does this mean you're moving back?" she said in a hopeful voice.

"Sure does" he replied back and she hugged again.

"This is so exciting." she said and then looked at Chris who was smiling. "Isn't it Chris!"

He was laughing a little now "Yes, Brooke it is but I'm not getting all girly about it."

Brooke rolled her eyes at him and then looked back at Graham. "We have to celebrate. Pour me a drink" She said to Chris with a smile and he did as he was told.

"I see you've made Chris you're bitch since I've been gone" Graham laughed.

Brooke playfully slapped his arm. "Oh shut up Graham. You know I never made you my bitch"

"Oh yeah? Lets see who was the one who always bought your meals when we went out or would come downstairs to get you a drink or would go shopping with you against my own will?" He asked curiously waiting for her answer.

"Okay...maybe you're right." she laughed "It's all in the past"

The three of them sat in the living room as they caught each other up with what's been going on with them. Graham learned all about Rachel and all the drama that it caused. Both Brooke and Chris conveniently left out the feelings that Chris had for Brooke and of course Brooke left out the hitting Rachel part as well. Graham told them all about the busy city life in New York and how it's true that it's the city that never sleeps. He told them about dropping out of NYU saying college wasn't for him. He didn't say what he did after dropping out just that he lived off his parents. Brooke knew he wasn't saying everything but she wasn't going to push anything out of him. At least not now.

"Blue Post tonight?" Brooke slurred a little. She was feeling tipsy now. The boys agreed and the three of them headed to Blue Post.

**Spotlight on these seeds of simpler reasons**

**This core, born into form, starts in our livingroom**

Brooke downed a few shots at the bar as she watched Chris and Graham compete in a game of Pool. About twenty minutes later the game finally finished. "So which one of my boys won?" Brooke slurred.

"That would be me" Graham said as he walked over to the barstool she was sitting at and took a seat next to her.

"Keller, that means you buy the next round of drinks" she smirked.

"Chris Keller really has turned into your bitch" Chris said to Brooke and then ordered another round of drinks for the three of them. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom" he excused himself.

Brooke played with the straw in her drink that was in front of her. She didn't look at Graham as she spoke. "Did you know that I had such a crush on you when I was younger" she let out a chuckle.

"I knew" he replied with a smile. "I thought it was cute but you know you were far too young for me."

"You know, I'm not a little girl anymore" she said in seductive tone as she placed her hand on his knee.

"You certainly are not" he smiled as he placed his hand on top of hers.

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Of course you can"

"I really have the urge to kiss you right now." she said as she grazed her fingertip on his lips.

"What are you waiting for then?" he said in a low whisper as he started to lean forward.

They knew this was partly the cause of the alcohol but from the moment they saw each other tonight they both wanted it. Their lips met and the kiss was soft and tender. He placed his hand behind her neck and brought her in closer and both her hands remained on his thighs.

"That didn't take long" Chris said as he approached them causing them to pull away.

They stayed looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Chris interrupted again.

"Hey horn dogs, I'm gonna go if you don't stop this PDA"

"Sorry man." Graham laughed as he looked at Chris and Brooke did the same.

"Wow." she said with a drunken smile.

Chris did not want to be watching Graham and Brooke make out all night. He still had romantic feelings for Brooke but he knew he couldn't act on them anymore. And he always knew about the crush Brooke had on Graham and now she had a chance seeing as she was legal now and not with Rachel anymore.

"Guys, I'm getting pretty tired. Can we call it a night?"

"Yeah sure" Graham said to him.

Brooke couldn't walk straight to the car so Graham was there for support. When they got back to Chris', Graham told him he'd take Brooke next door to her house. Chris nodded but inside it was killing him. First night Graham is back in town and he's already replacing Chris.

Brooke stumbled up the stairs and Graham helped her stay balanced. He took her to her room and laid her on the bed. He took a seat at the edge right next to her and brushed her hair away. She smiled at him.

"I missed you, Graham."

"You know I missed you too, Brooke"

"Stay with me tonight." she told him.

"Are you sure?" he asked just to make sure.

"Of course. You're not a stranger"

He climbed into bed with her and held her close to him. She placed a soft kiss on his lips. She starting to get sober at this point.

"Brooke, are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Sure about what" she said with her eyes closed as she nuzzled closer to him.

"About us. You know this."

Brooke let out a laugh "So there's an _us_ now?"

"Do you want there to be?" he asked in all seriousness.

Brooke thought long and hard about his question. This was it. She needed to start moving on. She needed to let go of Rachel. If Rachel was doing it so could Brooke. Rachel had Peyton and Brooke did try her best to win back Rachel but she failed. Brooke had a right to be happy now. She didn't need to sulk anymore.

"Yeah, I do." she replied in the same seriousness.

"What about Rachel? When you talked about her it seemed you really cared about her...well seemed like you still do."

She was nearly sober now. "Rachel was a big part of my life but she's not anymore. And she's with Peyton. You're here now and that's all that matters to me now. Rachel is my past and I want you to be my present and future." she smiled "And I know you just got back and we really don't know much about each other anymore but this feels right."

"Okay, Brooke Davis, I guess we're going to give us a shot." he said with a smile and placed a kiss on her forehead and then they drifted to sleep.

Rachel laid on Lucas' bed. She walked over to his house to go see him and to make things right. She hated being on bad terms with him. When she got there though he wasn't there so she decided to wait for him. After waiting for about two hours for him he opened his back door and was startled by his best friend on her bed. She got out of the bed.

"Jesus, Rachel, you scared me half to death" He said as his hand made his way to his heart.

Rachel smiled, "Sorry, didn't mean too."

Lucas dropped his basketball on the floor and walked over to his drawer. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I hate that we're not talking Luke." she said to him. "Listen, I was with Brooke today" Lucas jerked his head and looked at Rachel when he heard Brooke's name. "Yeah. We were paired up for a project. We're going to be okay. We didn't fight and I think we're going to try and be friends. At least that's what I want."

Lucas gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm happy for you. For both of you." He walked over to his bed and took a seat on the edge of it and Rachel did the same. "I hate it when we fight Rachel. You're my best friend and can we really try not to let this happen again."

"Agreed" she replied. "We're human and I know we'll have our differences but lets not let it get this far to where we don't speak for days." Lucas nodded and Rachel stood up "Alright bestest friend I think it's time you hit the shower you smell so bad." she laughed "I think I'll head home now."

"Stay." he replied. "You still have a bunch of your clothes here and your toothbrush and I don't want you to walk home alone right now. It's dangerous" he said to her.

"My protector." she laughed. "Okay fine I'll stay." she gave in without protesting.

"Pizza and movies?" he asked and she nodded. "Alright I'll order it now and take a shower."

Before he went to the kitchen to find the number to order pizza he walked over to Rachel and embraced her in a hug. "Glad to have you back" he whispered in her ear.

Things did start to feel like they were falling back into place to Rachel but who knew how long that would last.

**There is no difference in what we're doing in here**

**That doesn't show up as bigger symptoms out there**

**So why spend all our time in dressing our bandages**

**We've the ultimate key to the cause right here, our underneath**


	12. Say Anything

**Chapter 12**

**Say Anything**

**Some say that  
Time changes  
Best friends can  
Become strangers**

Brooke groaned as she used her elbows to prop her up in her bed. She brought a hand to her forehead that was currently throbbing at the moment. "Fucking alcohol" She looked over to the right of her and saw Graham laying there. She vaguely remembered him staying. She lifted her blanket up slightly to see if she had all her clothes on and she did. "Oh thank God." She climbed out of bed and over to her bathroom and splashed some water on her face and then brushed her teeth as she walked out of her bathroom Graham was sitting at the edge of the bed his head in his hands.

"Morning Graham" she said as she leaned against the door frame.

He lifted his head up and gave her a warm smile "Morning." he replied. "So do you have a headache just as bad as I do" he chuckled.

"That I do." she said as she walked over to her desk and opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle of Advil. She gave him two pills and took 2 for herself and then sat next to him. He placed his hand on her thigh. She looked at him and smiled as she placed her hand on top of his. "Listen, Graham..." she started and he looked at her intently "I know last night we agreed that we would give us a shot but I have to be honest that I was not thinking completely straight. We both had been drinking and didn't know what we were saying. I don't even know who you are anymore. It's been so long and I just think it wouldn't be a good idea if we were to jump into something so fast."

"Yeah, yeah, I agree Brooke. I was just going to say the same thing. I was still pretty drunk last night so I totally understand." he said as he removed his hand from her thigh and reached for his shoes and put them on. Brooke gave a sympathetic smile as he stood up. "I should get going. I have a lot of unpacking to do and such."

Brooke stood up and told him she'd walk him to the door. "I'm glad you're back, Graham." She stood on her tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I'm glad I am too" he smiled sweetly "I'll see you later, Brooke."

Brooke stood at the door as she watched Graham walk to his car. Before driving off he gave her a small wave and she closed the door. She walked to her kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table. She ran her hands through her hair and took a sip of water.

Rachel's head was resting on Lucas' chest as they both slept in his bed. Both of their eyes flickered open as they heard Lucas' alarm go off.

"Seriously, Luke, why the fuck is you're alarm going off this early on a Sunday morning." Rachel groaned.

His arm reached over to shut it off. "My morning run, silly" Lucas chuckled. "Sleep good?"

"Yes I did and I would've loved to have slept more" she said as she cuddled closer to Lucas "You make a very good pillow" she laughed. His head looked down at her and he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Very funny, Rach." he then stretched his arms and his body as he laid in bed causing Rachel to remove her arm and head off from Lucas. He then got up from bed and she rolled over to where he was laying and brought the covers close to her as she watched him get his shoes, shorts, and clean t-shirt. He then began to make his way to the bathroom but stopped when Rachel spoke.

"Aw you're not gonna change in front of me...where's the fun in that?" Rachel joked.

Lucas gave her a disgusted look "Ew. Rachel we are best friends Please don't ever say that again"

Rachel laughed "I was kidding!" she said and crawled out of bed "I'm gonna head home k?" Lucas nodded. "Call me later" she said and he he said he would and walked into the bathroom.

Rachel walked the streets of Tree Hill back to her house. She decided to go a different route which allowed her to pass Brooke's house. She wasn't sure why she decided to go that way but she did. A part of her was hoping she'd see Brooke outside so as she got closer Brooke was not in sight. She continued to walk but heard a voice coming up behind her.

**The same old argument  
And now I'm wonderin'  
If things'll ever change, yeah**

"Well, well look who it is." Chris said as he walked down his driveway.

Rachel turned around and Chris stood only a few feet away from her. She could not stand the guy. "I'm sorry but I don't think we have anything to say to each other. Goodbye now" she said as she turned back around and started to walk again. Chris jogged up in front of her causing her to come to a stop. "Chris, leave me alone."

"So..." he started "what brings you around here" he said as he pointed at her.

"I don't think that's any of your business so can you leave me alone now thanks" she said and was going to walk around him but he kept blocking her. "Fucking get out of my way, Keller"

"You've gotten feisty, haven't you. Chris Keller, likes" he said with a smirk and then received a push from Rachel who then started to walk away from him. "Rachel, wait!" he called out but she didn't turn around she continued to walk. "Rachel!" he said catching up to her "Rachel, I'm sorry!"

She stopped walking and turned around. "What?" she asked him confused. He walked closer to her.

"You heard me..." he said "I'm sorry that I slept with Brooke..."

"Chris Keller telling me sorry. Hell must have frozen over" she said looking away from him. "Sorry isn't enough though but thanks..."

"I know." he said sincerely and they both lingered there for a few moments and she then turned around and began walking away from him. "You still love her. I know you do" he called out and she stopped but didn't turn to face him this time. "She still loves you, Rach and you should work it out. Give it another shot before its too late." he advised her.

"I gave her lots of chances, Chris...It's not that easy to just go back to how it use to be. I don't want to go back to how it use to be because it was hell." Rachel thought back to all the times Brooke hit her and verbally abused her.

"Every relationship has problems...couples always argue...it's normal" Chris told her

"I know that, Chris. It's more than that. You don't know the whole story." she said still not having turned to face him.

Chris had a puzzled look on his face. "What are you talking about, Rachel?" he asked.

She turned around. "Forget it," she said "you are the last person I should be talking to about this."

"Rach, you can tell me." he said getting closer to her.

Truth was Rachel wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell someone. It was eating her inside; she felt like she was suffocating. She had never told a soul not even Lucas about Brooke hitting her numerous times .

"I can't" she whispered her eyes tearing up.

"Rachel...you're hiding something. What is it? I can tell you want to let it out so just do it."

Rachel took a deep breath. "Okay. Back when me and Brooke were together..."

**All the things we laugh about  
They'll bring us through it every time  
After time after time**

"Rachel?" Brooke called out as she came down her lawn "Chris?" Rachel and Chris both jerked their heads to look at Brooke. Rachel's heart was racing. "What are you doing here?" Brooke asked Rachel.

"Uh...I was just walking back home..."she managed to get out.

"Uhm, I see. And what are you doing talking to Chris?" she asked confused.

"Oh. Well I was just apologizing to her about you know...everything that happened." Chris jumped in to say.

Brooke didn't really buy it but she didn't want to start anything at the moment. "Oh okay. If you say so."

The three of them stood there in awkward silence. "Um, I'm going to go...do something" Chris said as he walked back towards his place. Brooke looked at him and Rachel exchange suspicious looks.

"So...this isn't your usual route home from Lucas' house" Brooke said with a smile.

Rachel grinned. "Yeah, I know but I just wanted a different scenery" she lied and Brooke knew it too.

"I see. You wanna come in for a bit...to hang out or something?" Brooke asked her hoping Rachel would say yes.

Rachel rose her brow "or something? What is that suppose to mean?" she laughed.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Rach" Brooke laughed as well.

"Yeah, sure...we can hang out." She answered and they went inside Brooke's house.

Rachel observed Brooke's room and noticed not a thing had changed. She hadn't taken any pictures of them down. It was all the same. Brooke sat on her unmade bed as Rachel stood awkwardly in the room.

"Rach" Brooke giggled "You can sit on the bed you know"

Rachel smiled "Yeah...I know...this is just all so weird" she said as she went and sat a few inches away from Brooke on the bed.

"I know what you mean but maybe we have to go through in order to get back to really being friends again you know..."

"Yeah..." Rachel said in a soft voice.

**Don't say a word  
I know you feel the same  
Just give me a sign  
Say anything, say anything**

"I've missed you a lot Rach" Brooke said looking at Rachel who didn't look at her. She didn't say anything. She wanted to tell her that she missed her too but she didn't allow herself to say it. "I've been pretty lost without you so just being here with you right now is amazing."

"Brooke..." Rachel sighed.

"You don't have to say anything." Brooke said to her as she took a hold of Rachel's hand. "I just wanted you to know that I haven't gone a day with out thinking of you nor have I stopped loving you" Rachel turned to face Brooke after she said those words. Their eyes locked and Brooke started leaning in and she closed her eyes. Rachel closed her eyes and began to lean forward. Their lips touched and they kissed softly. A wave of emotions washed over the both of them. As the kiss deepened Brooke placed her hand on the back of Rachel's neck and brought her closer but they pulled away immediately though after Rachel's phone began to ring. Rachel stood up from the bed and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket.

"Peyton, hi" she said in a semi-loud nervous voice. Rachel looked at Brooke who looked disappointed. "I'm walking home from Lucas' right now." she said "Yeah, I miss you too baby." Hearing Rachel call Peyton baby felt like daggers going through Brooke's heart. "Yeah, I'll be home all day so come by when ever. See you later" Rachel said before hanging up.

"Brooke-" Rachel said sadly

"Hey, it's fine." Brooke did her best to pretend she was fine but both her and Rachel knew it wasn't. "What just happened was a mistake. You're with Peyton now..." she faked a smile.

"Brooke I-"

"Rachel, you should go...Peyton is gonna be at your house soon you don't want to keep her waiting if you're not there...I'll walk you out."

They simply waved at each other and Rachel walked out the door. Brooke closed the door and couldn't believe what just happened. She placed her two of her fingers over lips. It felt like a dream.

As Rachel walked back home she couldn't stop thinking of Brooke. To feel her lips on her own again was unbelievable and all she wanted to do no was go back to Brooke and do it again.

As Rachel walked up to her her house a certain smiling blonde was sitting on her front porch waiting for her. Guilt started seeping into Rachel. She was with Peyton now who she did really like and care about but she had just betrayed her. Peyton stood up from the porch and walked over to Rachel. "Hey baby" Peyton said to her placing a kiss on Rachel's lips. "missed you" Peyton said.

Rachel managed to get a smile. "Missed you too"

**Please don't walk away (Please don't leave)  
I know you wanna stay  
Just give me a sign  
Say anything, say anything**

**It's been what 3 months since my last update. I'm really sorry but I got into some trouble...and then I started school in mid July so I just didn't have time to update. But thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapter and I hope you liked this chapter. Please review. **


	13. Eclipsed

**Chapter 13**

**Eclipsed**

**We love our tragedies.**

**We're both broken in our own little ways**

**We're broken, but we fit together just right**

**You know I saw the black inside your eyes**

Peyton lay in Rachel's bed while Rachel was on top of her. They kissed passionately. Rachel began kissing her neck and her hands roamed Peyton's body. As soon as Peyton tugged on Rachel's shirt to take it off, Rachel got a text message.

"Sorry" Rachel apologized. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and saw the message was from Brooke. She read it. "Shit."

"Who is it?" Peyton asked.

"Uh…Brooke…" she said.

"Brooke?" She questioned.

"Yeah…we have this paper in English we have to write and it's due tomorrow. The teacher paired us up…" Rachel explained. "She just text me that she e-mailed me her part. I really should get a start on it too. It's getting late."

Peyton took a deep breath and sat up. "I guess that's my cue to go."

"I'm sorry babe. I totally forgot about this. When I'm done I'll go over and see you though. I promise."

Peyton smiled. "Okay." Peyton placed a kiss on Rachel's forehead and she walked out of the bedroom.

She walks over to her computer and opens up her e-mail. The new mail sound goes off. She opens her inbox and to her surprise there it is. There's an email from Brooke with the subject title "Clenched Soul". Rachel opens it.

_Rachel,_

_I put what I've done so far as an attachment. I hope you like it. If there's something that you don't like or anything you can go ahead and change it. I went ahead and wrote the 3 pages. You can add something though if you need to. If you need ask me something or just need help with the paper call me…or if you just need anything or want to talk…call me. _

_Love,_

_Brooke_

Rachel reread the last few words over and over again. She wanted to call her. She didn't know why though. She opened the attachment and read what Brooke had written so far. It was perfect Rachel thought. And it was already 3 pages. The paper was done.

Rachel grabbed her phone and dialed Brooke's number. She listed to it ringing and waited for Brooke answer. On the third ring she answered.

"Hello?" Brooke said.

"Hey. It's Rachel"

Brooke laughed, "I know. I still have your number in my phone, silly"

"Right." Rachel said. "I just got your e-mail and read the paper. It's perfect Brooke. You really didn't have to do it all. I could have written something."

"I know I didn't have to but I wanted to & the words were just pouring out before I knew it I was at 3 pages." Brooke replied as she walked the streets of Tree Hill.

"Wow. It's really great, Brooke. No grammar or spelling mistakes either. I'm impressed" Rachel chuckled.

"Shut up" Brooke giggled.

Silence took over them.

"I miss you…" Brooke said in a low voice.

Rachel didn't say a word. Her heart was racing though.

"Please say something. Tell me you miss me." Brooke said.

"I can't" Rachel replied. "I need to go. I'm meeting Peyton."

"No you're not. Rachel please I know you miss me. I know you want to see me." Brooke said as she made it up her walkway to her house.

"I can't Brooke. I'm with Peyton & I care about her a lot."

"Come over. Lets just hang out. Nothing will happen. We can be friends can't we?"

"I'll see you at school, Brooke" Rachel said and hung up the phone.

**I Love your analogies.**

**We're both crazy in our own little ways**

**We talk about the future and our past lives.**

**I know I loved you then.**

**I know I'd love you now.**

**I know I'll love you then.**

**I know I love you now.**

Brooke sits on her porch steps and looks disappointed. Her eyes fill with tears that stream down her face. Graham sees her and starts walking over to her porch. He takes a seat next to her. Brooke looks at him and quickly wipes her tears away.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to see me like this" Brooke says not looking at him.

He places his hand on her back. "Hey it'll be okay. Don't worry" He embraces her. Brooke starts to cry. She rests her head on his shoulder. "She'll come around sooner or later."

"I don't think so. Everyday I lose a little hope. I don't know what to do anymore."

"I do" He replied. She looks up at him waiting to hear what he has to say.

Rachel sits at her desk thinking about what Brooke said. She wanted to go see her so bad. She didn't know why Brooke had this effect on her. She was with Peyton now. She shouldn't want to be with another girl. Rachel got up from her seat and grabbed her cell phone and put it in her pocket.

Rachel started walking towards Brooke's house. She didn't know why she was going that way but she was.

"You need to show her that you're okay, that you can live without her, that you are happy, that everything is perfectly fine. You are showing weakness and that's a turnoff. So, even if you're not okay pretend you are. She'll be crawling back to you in no time. " Graham told her. "I don't like seeing you cry, Brooke"

"Thanks Graham. I'll try to do that. I don't know if I'll be able to though." She said to him.

He put his arm around her shoulder. She rested her head close to his shoulder. Her eyes closed. When she opened them she spotted Rachel in the distance. Rachel looked puzzled and Brooke noticed. Brooke looked at Graham and then back at Rachel. Brooke quickly pulled away from Graham.

"Rachel's here" Brooke said. Graham looked to where Brooke was looking. Sure enough the red head stood in front of the house.

"I guess I'll leave you two alone." He said and then walked over to Chris'

Brooke called out to him, "Graham. Thanks."

Graham turned and nodded.

**When our lights meet, will you know me then?**

**And will you want to know it?**

**It feels like I've known you for so long.**

**When our lights meet, will you love me then?**

**And will you ever know it?**

**It seems like you've known me for so long.**

"So first night you're here and you already slept with Brooke. Nice." Chris said.

"For your information we didn't sleep together. Well not the way you think we did." Graham replied.

Chris furrowed his eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Seriously. We woke in the morning and she was really happy we hadn't actually. She loves Rachel." Graham explained.

"She's never going to get over her." Chris said to him.

"You think so?" he asked.

"I know so. Believe me you haven't seen how they are for the past 2 in half years. They're going to end up together sooner or later. They're meant to be even though Rachel can't see that right now. "

"If you say so." Graham said. "I'm going to go shower"

Chris nods and Graham goes upstairs.

**But you can't have everything you want when you want it.**

**I will be everything you want, when you want it.**

Rachel walked towards Brooke. She seemed nervous. "I don't know what I'm doing here"

"I don't know why either but I'm glad that you are" Brooke replied.

"You've been crying. Are you okay?" Rachel noticed and asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why are you crying?" Rachel asked.

"Why else, Rachel? You. I'm crying about you. I'm so fucking lost without you. I miss you like crazy."

Rachel didn't know what to say.

"Do you want to go inside?" Rachel asked Brooke.

"Are you coming in with me?"

Rachel's heart was racing. "Yeah…"

Brooke went inside her house and Rachel followed. "Do you want anything drink?" Brooke asked Rachel.

"No. I'm good. Thanks"

**Wait for me. Trust for me.**

**Fall for me. Even when you don't know you're falling for me.**

**Will you fall for it? If it should, it'll come around again.**

**But don't wait for me. And don't trust in me. Don't fall me.**

**Even when you know you're falling for me.**

Brooke makes her way to her bedroom and Rachel follows. "What are you doing here, Rachel? Why did you come? I thought you were going to go see your girlfriend, Peyton." Brooke asked.

"I honestly don't know what I'm doing here."

"You still feel something for me…" Brooke said to her.

"I don't…I can't…"

"Admit it Rachel. You still love me & you're rebounding with Peyton" Brooke said as she walked closer to Rachel. "I miss you so much. I miss your kiss and your touch. I love you so much and I'll do anything to have you back my love. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I need you, Rachel. I need you." Brooke takes a hold of Rachel's hand. She then intertwines their fingers.

Rachel's heart starts beating quicker. Brooke's touch makes her feel so good. "I'm scared Brooke. I'm scared you're going to hurt me again. And if you ever did I don't know what I'd do. I can't take it another betrayal."

Brooke whispers, "I'm not going to hurt you again I promise. I won't." Brooke moves closer to her. Their bodies touching, Brooke brings her hands and places it behind Rachel's neck. Rachel stands there not moving. Silence fills the room and Brooke swears she can hear Rachel's heart beating so fast. Brooke closes her eyes and leans forward. She presses her lips against Rachel's. She can't believe she's actually kissing her again. Rachel doesn't return the kiss, though.

Rachel breaks away from Brooke. "I can't. I'm sorry I shouldn't have come here today. I need to go see Peyton." Rachel quickly leaves the room.

Brooke stands there alone in her room.

**When our hearts meet, will we make it then?**

**Will we even notice that they are eclipsed?**

**I know… it's been over a year but I got inspired today to write so I hope it was worth the wait. I'll try updating sooner this time. Let me know what you think. Oh yeah, so I had to reread my story because I forgot what went on. And I only read up to chapter 11 so I started continued from there so not until after I finished writing what I thought was chapter 12 did I realize I had done that already… so I had to sort of rewrite my chapter 12 to chapter 13…. I think it worked out how I changed it. So hopefully it makes sense. **


	14. Stop & Say You Love Me

**Chapter 14**

**Stop & Say You Love me**

**Hey listen, because I'll only say this once**

**do you think that you could lose yourself in me?**

**I could say I want to die by your side one day**

**but I could never speak the words**

**because they haven't wrote the words that mean enough to me**

**so together we can burn this way**

Brooke walked into Chris' house and saw Chris with Graham in the kitchen talking. "Hey boys" she said in a chirpy tone. The two boys turned to see a bubbly Brooke.

"Why so happy, Brooke? An hour ago you were crying?" Graham questioned.

"Lets just say Rachel will be mine again soon." She said.

"What Happened Miss Davis…." Chris asked. She gave him a disgusted face.

"Keller, do not call me that. You know I hate it. And what happened is we kissed" Brooke said "And I know she doesn't love Peyton. I know it. She wants me back. You should've seen how nervous she got."

Graham nodded. "Well, don't get your hopes up too high. You never know. She might be too scared of getting hurt again. Or maybe she is falling for this Peyton chick. She might've been nervous but you don't know how she still feels about the whole thing."

"What the hell, Graham." Brooke said to him pissed off. "Aren't you supposed to be a friend and suppose to be positive?"

"Sorry, but a friend also tells the truth. And she saw you and Keller in bed together. It's probably hard to get that image out of her head. Just think about it Brooke. Put yourself in her shoes. When you two were together and if she would've slept with say, Peyton, and you caught them in bed together. Think of what you would've done and how you would've felt."

Brooke didn't say a word. All she did was think back to the time she was with Rachel and of the times she thought Rachel was cheating. She was always wrong. She was the one who always hurt Rachel with her fists and words. Brooke didn't look so happy anymore.

"Sorry, didn't mean to kill your happy buzz…" Graham apologized.

"No…no…it's okay. Don't worry about it. You're right." Brooke said to him. She felt uncomfortable being there. "I'll see you two later. I need to, uh, go"

"Brooke, don't go." Chris said. "Hang out with us."

"I want to be alone, Chris. Thanks though. Bye" Brooke said with a wave and left.

**I found a loop hole for us now**

**it's called redemption of my history**

**do you think you could look past my fears**

**tell me now my love**

**because I will lose it in your eyes, I see firelight in your eyes**

**I know that things will be better when you are by my side**

"Peyton." Rachel called out.

Peyton was sitting at her desk working on a drawing. When she heard Rachel's voice she quickly put her drawing face down on her desk. "Damn it, Rachel. You scared the hell out of me!"

Rachel chuckled, "Sorry. What are you working on?"

"On something…that I'll show you later" she said with a smile. "You're here earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Brooke did most of the work so I didn't have much else to do." Rachel explained. She walked towards Peyton slowly.

"Is everything okay, Rachel? You don't seem yourself." Peyton noticed.

"What? Yeah. I'm fine Peyton. I'm here with you."

"Aw aren't you so sweet" she giggled. "Come here sexy" Peyton said and grabbed a hold of Rachel's jeans belt loop and pulled her close to her and kissed her. Rachel wrapped her arms around Peyton's waist and then they moved things over to the bed. Rachel was on top. She tugged at Peyton's shirt and pulled it over her head. Her hands roamed Peyton's smooth skin. Rachel kissed her shoulder and then the side of her neck and then placed a kiss on her mouth. Peyton pulled Rachel's shirt off of her head. "You look beautiful, Rachel" Peyton and Rachel locked eyes.

Rachel didn't look away. "Peyton…I have to tell you something" Rachel's heart was beating fast. She didn't want to hurt Peyton she had to tell her the truth. She had to tell her what happened with Brooke earlier today. She just had to hope Peyton would forgive her.

"Rach, you can tell me anything. You know that." Peyton smiled.

Rachel took a deep breath. "Okay here goes…" Peyton nodded and waited a few seconds. "I love you"

"What?" Peyton said with a smile.

Rachel couldn't believe what she just said. She was going to tell her about Brooke but the words didn't come out. Did she love Peyton? She thought. She cared about her and they had a lot in common and they got along so well. Peyton treated her so well. She loved spending time with her. Maybe, she did love her.

"I do. I love you, Peyton." Rachel said with a smile.

Peyton sat up while Rachel still rested on her. "I love you too, Rachel. I've wanted to tell you but I was scared you didn't feel the same way about me."

Rachel kissed Peyton hard. They rolled around in the bed. One article of clothing being removed from there bodies one at a time. And eventually having a passionate night of love making.

**stop and say you love me, always, I'll say the same to you**

**stop and say you love me, always, I'll say the same to you**

Brooke had sent Rachel a few text messages saying she wanted to talk & asking where she was. And that she loved her and wanted to be with her. She paced her room. She was so anxious and nervous and sad all at the same time. She took a seat on the edge of her bed and looked at her phone hoping to receive a message or call. She got nothing. "Ugh." She exhaled. She got up, grabbed a light sweater and went outside. She needed to get some fresh air. The night was still& she walked the lonely streets alone.

**I'm guarded, **

**I'm fragile, **

**but if anyone could ever save me now, **

**you can**

Peyton lay on her bed panting. "Oh. My. God. Rachel. That was amazing!" Rachel grinned. Peyton turned over to look at Rachel. "Seriously, that was fucking amazing. You make me feel so good." Peyton grinned.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Sawyer." Rachel said. Peyton kissed her.

"I love you so much Rachel. You make me feel wonderful. You're so good to me. Not to mention you're fucking hot and I get turned on by just looking at you."

Rachel's cheeks turned a shade of red. "Thanks Peyton. I love you so much too. I'm so happy we can tell each other that now."

They lay there in silence a few moments. Rachel looked over at Peyton's clock that read 11:30pm. "Shit, Peyt, it's almost midnight. I should be getting home." Rachel got out of bed. Peyton looked at her naked body. She looked at every curve that made her.

"You're beautiful, Rachel. You really are." Peyton said to her.

Rachel slipped on her panties and put her bra on. "Thanks baby. So are you." Rachel finished getting dressed and then sat on the bed. Peyton sat up while covering her naked body with her bed sheet. "Tonight was really great, Peyton." Rachel told her and placed a kiss on her lips.

"Let me know when you get home." Peyton told her and kissed her again. "I love you"

Rachel got up and headed for the door. "I love you too" She locked eyes with her and moments later walked out.

Rachel got in her car and was feeling a wave of all kind of emotions. She sat there not knowing what she let just happened. She went over to tell Peyton about Brooke and instead she told her she loved her and they had sex for the first time. Rachel had to admit the sex was good. And that she did have feelings for Peyton. Was it Love? Maybe. She didn't exactly know yet. But she wanted to find out. She wanted to see what could happen with Peyton now. She was going to keep the Brooke incident to herself and pretend it never happened. Peyton was good for her.

Rachel drove away from Peyton's and headed to her house. When arriving she got out of her Black Tahoe and headed to the front door. Out from the darkness on the porch Rachel saw a shadow figure appear.

"Rachel…" She heard Brooke's voice.

"Brooke?" She came into the light and in fact did see Brooke. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm seriously going crazy without. I miss you. Can't we just talk about it. Like really talk about everything. No yelling, no fighting, just talking."

Rachel saw how bad Brooke wanted this. "Okay." Rachel said. "Let's talk. Come in." Rachel went inside her house and Brooke followed.

**are you strong enough? am I enough?**

**are you strong enough to say you love me?**

**I want to thank all my reviewers, TVCrazed, Lena, juicetroope82, spashley20, and DENISE!!! and I'm so glad to see I still have my dedicated readers. That makes me so happy. I hope you like this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter. **


	15. Fear

**Chapter 15**

**Fear**

**The guilt reflects**

**And the leaves the rest to me**

**It started with a flash a light**

**Off his grip was loose and just a bit**

**There's a constant slip out of the positive **

**And you waste more perfect time than you have to give**

Rachel sat on the edge of her bed. Brooke paced in front of her. Rachel watched her. Brooke fidgeted with her fingers. "So, what do you want to talk about?" Rachel said, "You wanted to talk so lets talk"

Brooke stopped pacing. "Have you gotten any of my texts?"

"Texts? No. I've been with Peyton I haven't looked at my phone." Rachel responded. "Why? What'd you say?"

Brooke sighed. She felt like Rachel didn't care at the moment about anything she had to say. "I want to be with you again, Rachel. I need you. I want it to be us again. We've spent plenty of time apart to think and cool off and be on our own. Lets give us another chance please." Brooke begged her. She sat down next to her and faced her. "I love you, Rachel. I mean it. I love you so much. I won't hurt you again. I promise. I'm sorry for everything. Please forgive me. I won't hit you and I won't call you names. I want to have a healthy relationship with you. I'm nobody without you. I've never loved anyone like I love you and I will never love anyone like I love you. You're all that matters to me. I want to spend my life with you. I don't care about anyone else." At this point Brooke had plenty of tears down her face. Rachel was tearing up too. "We've had some good times Rachel and you know. I'll never forget the day we skipped school and went to my beach house for the weekend. That had to be one of the best weekends of my life. Rachel you're all I think about. I'm pouring my heart out here. You're my soul. You're my everything. Please follow your heart. Don't runaway from what you really feel." Brooke interlaced her fingers with Rachel's. There were several moments of silence. "Rachel, please say something."

Rachel sat there holding Brooke's hand. Her eyes were teary. "Brooke, I don't' know what to say. I'm with Peyton. I told her I loved her tonight."

"What?" Brooke sobbed, "How could you tell her that? I know you don't love her. When will you admit it to yourself that you're not over me? That you want to me with me as much as I want to be with you again"

"Brooke…I loved you so much. I did. But I've moved on. I just can't forget all the wrong you did to me. I can't forget it." Rachel had tears falling down her face. "I'm with Peyton now, Brooke. And things are really going great with her. They really are. And I don't want to screw that up."

"You told her about our 2 kisses?"

"No, I haven't"

"Then you already screwed up, Rachel. Baby, you're going to realize one day that you don't love her. Don't break her heart. You know deep down inside you want to be with me."

Rachel lets go of Brooke's hand. "I think you should go, Brooke." Rachel said as she stood up and took a few steps away from the bed. Brooke stood up and followed Rachel.

"Baby, please" Brooke said to her. Brooke softly grabbed Rachel's hand. "Please" Brooke whispered.

Rachel closed her eyes. "No Brooke. I can't. I'm sorry. I really think you should go now."

"Fine I'll go. But I know you'll realize what you're doing and find me soon." Brooke wiped her tears. Brooke began walking towards the door. Rachel's back was to her. Brooke turned. "I love you Rachel and I always will." Broke said and then left.

**All the fear and all the cares of the world**

**Never forced themselves into my arms**

**It was your fear that helped me **

**Fear that got me to move**

**Straight from your heart into their sight**

It was the middle of the week and school was over. Brooke entered the gym and all the cheerleaders were ready for practice.

Nathan ran over to Brooke. "Brooke" He called out.

"Nathan" She said and then she hugged him. "I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever."

"I know. You've been MIA." He laughed. "How have you been?"

"Good. I've been better. I just wish Rachel would realize who she really loves."

"Rachel is going to realize it. I know she will. Just have patience." Nathan assured her.

"Thanks Nate. Well I need to get over there." She motioned to the group of cheerleaders. "We have the Sparkle Classic Tournament this weekend"

"Oh that's right. Good Luck & I'll be there this weekend.."

"Thanks Nathan. Talk to you later" Brooke said and then she jogged over to her cheer squad.

Brooke noticed Peyton and Rachel sitting on the floor stretching. Brooke watched as Peyton told Rachel she loved her and she saw Rachel say it back to her. It really stung Brooke's heart. Brooke set her bag on the floor.

"Okay girls. The Sparkle Classic is this weekend. We get there Friday night and the competition is Saturday afternoon. We have our routine down. So it's just going to be practice, practice, and practice. Line up in your positions and I'll cue the music."

The squad all lined up and Brooke put the music on. They started their routine while Brooke observed them. She then stopped the music in the middle of the routine. She walked neared Peyton. "You did the arm movement wrong. It's like this." Brooke said and she demonstrated how it was suppose to be done.

"That's what I did, Brooke."

"No you didn't. I was watching you and you did it wrong." Brooke replied. The girls were silent.

"What ever."

"From the top" Brooke turned the music on.

She watched as the girls did the routine. When they were done they waited for Brooke to say something.

"Peyton, you were just a beat off in those arm movements but good try. Everyone else, good job. You can get a 10 minute break." Brooke said to the squad. Peyton made a face. The girls sat down on the bleachers and some on the floor next to their bag.

Brooke walked out the gym doors to get some water at the fountain. She took sips and then heard the doors behind her open. "What the hell, Brooke?"

Brooke turned around. "What?"

"You know Peyton did the routine perfectly fine. You did that on purpose," Rachel told her.

"Look, I know she's your girlfriend but she did the move wrong. You don't have to get worked up about it."

"Look, I know you're lying and you just want to make her feel embarrassed in front of everyone. So, just stop it."

"Okay…Rachel…. what ever you say" Brooke said. "But she really did not do the move right. Oh yeah and by the way we're roomies on Friday night." Brooke told her this and then walked back into the gym. Rachel quickly followed after her.

"Excuse me?" Rachel stopped Brooke by taking a hold of her arm. Brooke turned around.

"You and I are rooming together in the hotel Friday night. It's alphabetical order and no one has a last name that begins with E or F, so Brooke DAVIS and Rachel GATTINA." Brooke smiled. "I already turned in the paper work to the school and to Coach who is going to be checking the rooms that night"

**The grace and hope**

**I share along the way**

**It ended with a twist of fate**

**And now the hearts are breaking just a bit**

**And the consequence was a negative**

"Nice, Brooke." Rachel said and went back over to the squad and sat next to Peyton.

"What was that about?" Peyton asked taking a hold of Rachel's hand.

"Just telling her not to single you out like she did." Rachel explained.

"Really? That's nice of you to do. You really didn't have to."

"Well, I know you did the moves right so she shouldn't have done that." Rachel told her. "Oh…and one more thing…"

"What is it?" Peyton asked concerned.

"I'm rooming with her on Friday…"

"What?! You can't be serious." Peyton said.

"She turned in the paper work already and Coach is checking up on each room…It's alphabetical order…I'm sorry babe. I wish I was rooming with you"

"She is trying what ever she can to get you back. What doesn't she get?" Peyton asked.

"I don't know baby. I do wish she would stop. But I guess it's just taking her long to move on than it did for me." Rachel explained. Peyton nodded.

The squad finished their routine and Brooke let them go early. She was gathering her things and putting them in her bag. She watched Rachel and Peyton.

"I'm going to hang out with Lucas for a little while tonight. Is that cool?" Rachel asked Peyton.

"Yeah, of course. Give me a call later tonight and I'll see you tomorrow." Peyton told Rachel.

Brooke thought back to when she hit Rachel the first time for hanging out with Lucas. It sounded so stupid to her now, so immature. She was disappointed in herself. Brooke watched as Peyton and Rachel kissed. Peyton waved bye to Rachel and then left. Rachel went to sit on the bleachers to wait for Lucas. All the girls had left except Rachel and Brooke and all the guys were in the locker room.

Brooke stood up from the floor and got her bag. She started to walk towards the door to leave but then turned around. "Hey Rachel." She said calling out to her.

"What is it Brooke?" Rachel said annoyed.

"I just want to tell you that if I could take everything back I would. If I could take back every time I slapped you or hit you I would. I can't believe myself for doing that. I can't believe I would do that to someone I love. I can't believe all the pain I put you through. I am truly sorry for all of it. And I hope you can one day forgive me." Brooke said to her with a tear escaping the corner of her eye. After she said that she left.

Rachel sat on the bleachers. She contemplated what Brooke just said to her. She felt Brooke was being sincere. She had heard that before from her, that she wouldn't do it again but she felt it in her heart that Brooke was truly sorry. She didn't know what to think or do or say.

"Hello?" Lucas said and waved a hand in front of Rachel's face.

"Huh? Oh, sorry" Rachel chuckled. "What's up?"

"What was on your mind? You were deep in thought." Lucas stated.

Rachel stood up. "It was nothing." She put her arm around his waist. "Lets get out of here."

**For shame on you**

**Whwho cares about me anyway**

**I don't mind you**

**It'd mean too much if you just save me**

**Save me**

**I have a new fic called The Future in the End. It's BP slash with other couples as well please read and review that if you could. Thanks**

**I hope everyone liked the chapter. Thank you for the reviews. Spashley – Thanks. Her judgment will definitely be clouded. TVCrazed – LoLthanks for reviewing ********. Oh Denise, Denise, Denise how I love your reviews. I hope you like this chapter and hope your Halloween was better than mine lol. Juicetroop82-thanks. Mjgchick – you know you wanted RP to get it on. **

**Please Review and let me know what you think. **


	16. Carried Away

**Chapter 16**

**Carried Away**

Brooke and Nathan sat next to each other on the bus on the way to the Sparkle Classic. She watched as Rachel and Peyton sat next to each other laughing and enjoying each other's company. Nathan looked at Brooke with a sympathetic look.

"Sorry Brooke" He said.

"For what? It's not your fault. It's mine. I had her and I lost her" Brooke said sadly.

"I know. I just really hate to see you this way." Nathan said.

"Thanks for being there for me Nate, appreciate it" She said and rested her head on his shoulder. "We are rooming together so hopefully something good will come out of it"

Peyton took Rachel's hand and intertwined their fingers. She placed a small kiss on Rachel's hand. Rachel smiled at her. "I'm really happy we're together Rach." She kissed her softly on her lips.

"Me too, Peyton. I wish we would be rooming together. I can't believe she would do this. When is she just going to let it go?"

"I'm sorry babe. She said it was alphabetical order."

"Why don't you sneak out after Coach finished the night check in"

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea" Rachel smirked.

Rachel kissed Peyton. Peyton looked out the window as the bus drove to the hotel. Rachel looked back and made eye contact with Brooke. Brooke couldn't hide the sadness of watching them together. Rachel gave her an encouraging smile. Brooke looked away.

The bus pulled into the front driveway of the hotel. The basketball players and cheerleaders all gathered into the lobby. Brooke grabbed all the room keys from Whitey. "Okay girls gather around" Brooke called out. All the cheerleaders gathered around their captain. She handed the keys out to the girls. "Get settled in. I want to have one more practice before tomorrow. Lets meet at the conference room in an hour." The girls made their way to their rooms. Brooke walked over to Rachel and Peyton. "Here's your key" She said to Rachel and handed her key over and walked off and left them alone.

"So, I'll see you an hour" Peyton said. "I love you"

"I love you too, Peyt" Rachel kissed her and then pulled away. "See you soon" she winked at her and they walked their separate ways to their room.

Brooke lay on her bed looking up at the ceiling. The room door swung open and Rachel walked in with her duffel bag. Brooke's head turned and watched her come in. "Hey" Brooke said in a soft voice.

"Hey." Rachel replied. She placed her bag down next to her bed and sat on the edge of the bed. "So this should be interesting"

"I guess" Brooke said. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. "You look happy, Rachel." Brooke got up off the bed. "I'm going to freshen up" She walked into the bathroom and Rachel watched her every step.

Brooke seemed so sincere Rachel thought to herself. She didn't think she would be acting like this when she knew found out they were going to be rooming together. Rachel fell back on the bed.

Brooke wiped a single tear away from the corner of her eye. She splashed some water on her face and then reapplied her makeup. She brushed her hair out a few times and then applied some lip balm. She opened the door and walked out. She saw Rachel asleep on the bed. "You're so beautiful," Brooke whispered aloud. She sat in her own bed.

Rachel turned over in the bed and opened her eyes. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah" Brooke said, "You looked so peaceful" she replied.

"I didn't get much sleep last night I'm so tired" Rachel said groggily.

"I don't think I want to know why" Brooke said imagining the worse.

"No…It's not what you think, Brooke" Rachel reassured her "I was just nervous"

"Nervous about what?" Brooke asked.

"Seriously? You're going to make me say it" Rachel said and Brooke shrugged her shoulders.

"I always get nervous around you, Brooke." Rachel sat up "I don't trust myself around you. I still think about you and I still miss you but then I think about what happened..."

Brooke stayed silent.

"I'm sorry. I know we've been over this a million times. I shouldn't have said anything.

"It's okay. I screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to me. I deserve this and you deserve Peyton. You know I'll always love you and I hope one day we can be together again."

"Brooke…" Rachel sympathized.

Brooke's eyes stung with tears "Forget it. I'm going to set up for practice see you there in a bit" Brooke hurried out the door.

The cheerleaders started showing up at the conference room. Brooke was setting up the music. Peyton looked around trying to find Rachel but no luck. All the girls were there except her. Peyton walked up to Brooke. "Hey" Peyton said.

"Hey." Brooke said back as she scrolled through her music on her laptop.

"Where's Rachel?" Peyton asked.

"In the room I guess" Brooke said. "She was still there when I came over here. Relax I'm sure she'll be here in a minute"

"Yeah. Look Brooke, I really love her and we have a good thing going on right now so don't do anything to mess that up or I will—"

"You will what, Peyton?" Brooke said fierce "Rachel is a big girl and can make her own choices. She might have feelings for you now but I know where her heart truly is and it's only a matter of time."

"You wish." Peyton laughed, "You're not there anymore. You don't know how we are when were alone together. The way she tells me she loves me the way she looks at me and the way we make _love_"

"If you only knew," Brooke replied with a smirk. Peyton gave her a puzzled look.

"What are you - -" Peyton was cut off.

"Hey" they heard Rachel's voice and they both turned. "What's going on?" she questioned.

"Nothing, Rachel. Peyton was just wondering were you were. That's all." Brooke looked away from them and looked at the other cheerleaders. "Okay girls, line up!"

"Everything okay" Rachel asked Peyton as they gone into their positions and Peyton nodded but couldn't help to wonder what Brooke meant with that line.

"Ready and Go!" Brooke hit play on her computer and the song blasted through the speakers. The girls began their routine. Brooke watched them and studied their every move. When the girls finished the routine she replayed the song and they did it again. "Great!" Brooke said when the song finished. "Perfect form, everyone." We need to do it just like this tomorrow and we'll be golden. "Nice form, Peyton. Definitely better than practice earlier this week." Brooke spoke. "And you were flawless as usual, Rachel" Brooke smiled. "Get a good rest tonight, girls. We need be up bright and early. I don't want any problems." Brooke gathered her things and rushed off to her room.

"She such a bitch" Peyton said aloud to Rachel.

"She's just hurt and is taking it out on you. What were you talking about before I got here? Didn't look friendly" Rachel told her.

"She said something that I can't take my mind off. So I'm going to ask you and please don't like to me."

"Peyton, you can trust me. What is it?" Rachel said taking Peyton's hand into hers.

"I told her that I loved you and we were happy and that she didn't need to do anything to ruin that"

"Why would you say anything, Peyton? Just leave it alone" Rachel insisted

"Well I did and then she said 'if you only.' What did she mean by that?" Peyton now questioned Rachel. It was the only 2 of them now in the conference room. The rest of the girls had cleared out already.

Rachel's heart started racing. She couldn't believe Brooke would do that. She thought back to those two kisses they shared. "Peyton, don't read into anything she says. She hurt and she's jealous. She's going to do anything to break us up. Don't you understand that? She wanted to get under your skin. I promise." Rachel assured her. "I love you and only you" she lied.

"Okay. If you say it was nothing then it was nothing. I believe you." Peyton kissed her hard on the lips. "Are you still going to sneak out to see me"?

"I'm actually really tired. I was up working on a paper all night so I didn't get much sleep. You don't hate me do u?"

"Of course not, babe. I understand. We have to be up early anyways" Peyton said.

Brooke took her shirt off and through it on the floor. She put her hair up in a bun and unzipped her gym bag to remove her shower items. She gathered her things and then heard the door swing wide open and an irate red head charged in. "Angry much?" Brooke said standing in her bra and cheer train pants.

"What the hell, Brooke!" Rachel yelled. "Why would you say that?"

"Say what?" Brooke questioned

"Don't act dumb, 'if you only knew', seriously?!" Rachel exclaimed, "Just because we didn't work out doesn't mean you have to ruin my relationship with Peyton"

"You ruined it when you kissed me" Brooke said "twice." Brooke walked past her with her shower products in hand walking towards the bathroom.

"You're just going to walk away from me right now" Rachel questioned.

"Yes. I've said what I had to say and that's it, Rachel. I don't know what else you want me to say or do. I fought for you. I apologized. I tried. I'm leaving it up to you now. I'm going to shower now. " Brooke continued to walk away from Rachel and into the bathroom.

"Brooke!" Rachel called out. A few seconds later Brooke walked out of the bathroom

"What?" Brooke said standing naked in front of Rachel.

Rachel was at a loss for words as she stared at Brooke's naked body. "Umm.."

"Well?" Brooke asked. "Are you going to say something or can I go shower?"

Rachel looked away "Do you see what I mean? One minute you're the most sincere girl ever the next minute your naked tempting me and can't have a civil conversation"

"Look, I was about to get in the shower and you want to talk. So say what you need to say and then I can go onto my shower."

"What I was going to say was" Rachel kept her eyes diverted from Brooke's body "What I was going to say was…" Rachel now looked at Brooke in the eyes. They stood there in front of each other for a few seconds and then Rachel went for it. She kissed Brooke hard and passionate. She put her hands all over her bare body. Brooke reciprocated the kiss and then pulled Rachel's shirt over her head. She kissed her neck down her breast. Brooke reached her hand behind Rachel and unhooked her bra. It dropped to the floor. They didn't part lips as they hurried to the bed. Rachel on the bottom and Brooke was on top. Brooke pulled off Rachel's gym pants and then her thong. Brooke kissed her stomach and planted kisses up her to her neck and then on her lips again.

"I've missed this and you for so long" Brooke let out. Rachel grabbed Brooke on her waist and turned her over so now she was on top of Brooke. She cupped one of her breasts and sucked on her other. She moved her fingers down in between Brooke's thighs.

"You're so wet" Rachel said in a heavy breath.

"It's all for you baby" Brooke moaned, "I love you, Rachel"

Rachel moved up so she would be face to face with Brooke. "I love you too, Brooke. I always have"


	17. Tunnel Vision

**Chapter 17**

**Tunnel Vision**

Brooke awoke from a deep sleep with blankets covering her naked body. She looked over but Rachel wasn't there. Her eyes furrowed not believing she would leave her alone after what they had just done. Brooke looked at the alarm clock is only 4am. She didn't have to be up for another few hours. She hoped Rachel wasn't regretting what happened between them. They were meant to be together. It was so apparent after what happened. Brooke couldn't fall back asleep. She lay in bed staring up at the ceiling and looking over at the clock every few minutes. She was desperate. She wanted to talk to Rachel. She needed to talk to her.

Brooke got up and put on some clothes. She left her room in search of Rachel. She walked the hallways and then got the elevator to the first floor. She wasn't in the lobby. She followed the signs for the pool. She pushed the door open and there she was. The red-haired girl sat at the edge of the pool with her feet in the water.

"Hey" Brooke said softly. Rachel turned and saw her.

"Hey" Rachel said back. Brooke took a seat next to Rachel.

"Are we going to talk about what happened?" Brooke questioned.

"Brooke, what happened shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake"

"I know you don't mean that, Rachel. You told me you loved me. That you always have. We just had the most amazing sex. We made love. And it was beautiful."

Rachel didn't say a thing.

"Rachel, please, say something" Brooke pleaded. She placed her hand on top of Rachel's. Rachel looked over at her.

"My heart wants it all, Brooke. But my head wants me to be cautious."

"Follow your heart, Rachel."

"It's not that easy, Brooke."

Brooke took her index finger and put it under Rachel's chin. She guided it so that Rachel would turn her head to look at her. Brooke leaned in for a kiss and Rachel let her. They pulled their lips apart and rested there foreheads on each other.

"I love you, Rachel. Please give me another chance. This very last chance to prove to you that I'm the one for you and I won't screw up this time." Brooke pleaded.

"I'm scared" Rachel whispered. "I don't want to get hurt again"

"I won't hurt you, Rachel." Brooke said pulling away. "I promise. I would never do that to you again"

Rachel stayed silent. She wanted to be with Brooke again so bad but she was scared of getting hurt again. She didn't know if she'd be able to handle another heartbreak. She had been through so much already the past 2 years. The fights and tears they had were exhausting.

Brooke kissed Rachel's lips, "Please" she said as she pulled away. She kissed her again "Believe me" she said as she pulled away again.

Rachel intertwined her fingers with Brooke's. Rachel now rested her head on Brooke's shoulder. "Okay," Rachel said simply.

"Okay?" Brooke questioned.

"Yes. We can give us another try but it's the last one. If this doesn't work, Brooke, then we just weren't meant to be. I love you"

A smile crept on Brooke's face. "I won't screw this up, Rach" Both girls look at each other and share a passionate kiss. The two girls get up and walk hand in hand back to their room. They get into the same bed together and hold each other close facing each other. "I never want to let you go" Brooke whispered.

Rachel smiled. "Then don't" she replied. Brooke closed her eyes and smiled back. The two girls drifted off to sleep. They seemed at peace and happy now.

Rachel shot up from the bed quickly when she heard loud knocks coming from the room door. "What time is it?!" she said out loud. "We don't need housekeeping" Rachel called out.

"It's Peyton" Rachel heard the blonde.

Her eyes widened. Peyton. She had completely forgot about her girlfriend Peyton. She quickly got out of Brooke's bed and started to dress herself. She shook Brooke. "Brooke wake up. It's late and Peyton's here" She whispered.

"Be right there!" Rachel called out to Peyton. "Get dressed!" she said in a sharp whisper to Brooke. Brooke stirred in the bed. "Brooke! The competition is in an hour wake the hell up!" Brooke realized where she was and Rachel just informed her how soon the competition was.

"Shit!" Brooke got up quickly and head towards the bathroom.

Rachel fixed her hair and then went to answer the door. "I overslept" Rachel said honestly.

"I can see that sexy" Peyton replied and then kissed the red head. A wash of guilt fell over Rachel for two reasons. One being that she just realized that she cheated on the blonde and two being now kissing her she felt she was hurting Brooke. Quite the predicament she was in.

Brooke took a super quick shower and then stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body. She walked out to see Peyton and Rachel sitting on the bed next to each other. Peyton was holding Rachel's hand and then placed a kiss on her lips. Brooke cleared her throat. Rachel pulled away from Peyton and saw the hurt in Brooke's face. Rachel gave her an apologetic look. What could she do? She couldn't tell Peyton yet.

"You should get ready Rachel. We only have 45 minutes left." Brooke told her.

"Yeah, I am." Rachel replied and she got up, as did Peyton. Rachel walked passed Brooke and so did Peyton. "I'll see you in a bit" Rachel said to the blonde. Peyton kissed her and then walked out of the room.

"Brooke I'm sorry. I just coul—" Rachel was cut off.

"I know. Its okay." Brooke told her and the girls got ready for the cheer competition.

It was almost show time. The cheer squad was huddled by the stage and Brooke was giving them their final notes.

"Next up we have the Tree Hill Ravens!" The announcer said on the loud speaker.

The girls all had their hands in the middle and lifted them up yelling, "Ravens!" They all ran out on stage and did their performance. They ended up winning 2nd place, which wasn't terrible. Brooke had worked really hard on the routine and it paid off. Everyone came to congratulate her and the rest of the squad.

Peyton linked arms with Rachel. "You look so hot in this cheer uniform" Peyton whispered in Rachel's ear. "Can't wait to take it off you"

Rachel laughed nervously, "Thanks"

"I'm glad this trip is over. Everything will go back to normal and you won't to be in the same room with Bitchy Brooke"

"She's not that bad Peyton. Just put yourself in her position. Like I said before she's just hurt"

Peyton shrugged her shoulders. "Well I'm going to go pack see you at the bus" She finished saying. And Rachel nodded.

Rachel started packing up her things. Brooke walked into the room and saw the red haired beauty. "Hey gorgeous" Rachel turned and saw the raven-haired girl walking towards her. Brooke wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and gave her a deep kiss. "I hate seeing you with her, Rachel"

"Brooke—" Rachel said sympathetically "I'll end things when we get back to Tree Hill. I can't do it now. It's just not the right time. I feel awful…"

"I know, babe. I understand. I'm sorry things happened the way they did…I honestly didn't mean to put you in that position." Brooke said as she kissed Rachel's neck.

It caused Rachel to giggle. She was so sensitive in that spot. "We should really finish packing. The bus is going to leave us"

"We can be quick" Brooke replied with a smirk. And they were quick. They quickly made passionate love and were absolutely inseparable. They showered packed up there things and were ready to go.

Before walking out of the room Rachel stopped Brooke. "I love you, Brooke. And last night was amazing. And I know when we walk out of this room we are going to have to act differently but just know that's what it is now, an act. I'll take care of things with Peyton when we get back to town, I promise." Rachel reassured her and placed one last kiss before walking out.

**A/N: HEY ALL! HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! PLEASE LEAVE ME REIVEWS IT MOTIVATES ME FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. I KNOW I HADN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE BUT I'D LIKE TO KNOW IF PEOPLE ARE STILL READING. SO PLEASE TAKE 30 SECONDS TO WRITE ME SOMETHING. **


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